Bye Bye bye to our bubbas.
Long term “Vanderpump Rules,” couple Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney have separated after two weddings and 12 years together.
Though the pair have certainly, and oft very publicly, had their differences — including but not limited to throwing drinks, kissing strangers, using dogs as emotional leverage and serious discrepancies about commitment — the news of their split was met by friends and fans with sadness and surprise.
Were the stars crossed and the dye cast from the get-go for these two? Read on to learn more.
Libra Fully Loaded
Born October 16, 1982, Tom Shwartz has an abundance of Libra energy with his sun, moon, Mercury and Venus all in the sign of scales and balances. Libra is ruled by Venus, planet of love, beauty and minimal effort. Self-described mactor (model/actor, for the uninitiated) Schwartz leads with looks and relies on charm, both behaviors reflecting the serious Venusian energy in his chart. As he once mused, “If I can set my hair straight, maybe I can set my life straight.” Don’t stop believing, baby.
Because Libra is the only sign in the zodiac represented by an inanimate object, there is a certain inertia associated with it, these people need to be activated by something in order to make moves, self-starters they ain’t. This quality is magnified in Schwartz, who has openly struggled to make personal and professional headway.
Libra rules the seventh house of partnerships, suggesting that Tom views his relationship with Katie as an essential part of his identity while Capricorn Katie sees it with a bit more objectivity. This difference helps explain why Tom is still wearing his wedding band after the two announced their uncoupling. Tom, I recommend a listen of fellow double Libra Bruce Springsteen’s heart shattering 1987 masterwork “Tunnel of Love.” Turn it up and let it out brother.
The planetary saving grace within Tom’s Libra-laden chart is his Mars in Sagittarius. Mars represents our will, our fighting spirit and approach to sex and success. Mars-in-Sagittarius folk are imbued with the relentless spirit of positivity, moving through the world with the belief that things are bound to get better. As Tom reported post-breakup, “I’m always optimistic, eternally. And yeah, I’m doing OK. I’m staying busy.”
Capricorn Katie
Born January 16, 1987, Katie Maloney is a Capricorn sun and a Leo moon — a combination that suggests she knows what she wants and will get it, albeit not always easily and never painlessly. Capricorn is equal parts patient and punishing, qualities expressed in Katie’s long-term and long-suffering relationship with Tom. Capricorn is ruled by stern, rule-making, boundary-holding Saturn. The influence of Saturn helps to explain Katie’s policing of Schwartz and need for a solid commitment from him. Who could rightfully forget the ring on a string?
During the couples joint bachelor/bachelorette party in New Orleans, talk of Tom’s cheating soured the celebrations but did not deter Katie. Evidence of her practical, dry earth sign nature can be found in her hungover reflection, “I’ve been with this dude for so long I’m not going to let this loose, skank b**** shake that.” Yet what seems to have shaken the couple isn’t who Tom did or didn’t bone, but rather the absence of a backbone.
If you want to starve, ask a Libra to choose the restaurant. If you want to feel like you have zero backing, then date one. Among Katie’s primary complaints was that Tom failed to defend her to his friends, most notably Cancer bestie/business partner Tom Sandoval.
“Trying to mediate between these two has gotten to the point where it’s killing me inside,” Schwartz admitted. Being unable to harmonize energies between two primary partners is absolutely devastating to a Libra and to the detriment of all parties, that devastation manifests as inertia. All three of these folks are cardinal signs, with Libra falling quite literally in the middle of Cancer and Capricorn on the zodiac wheel.
Breaking down the breakup
As this installment of Virtual Reali-tea points out, Tom and Katie’s wildly different public responses to their breakup reveal a lot about them, and in kind, their astrological natures. Tom posted a record 10-slide Instagram post that made it clear the split wasn’t his choice or his preference. Our boy is clearly hurting and not editing. Meanwhile Capricorn Katie kept it to three slides that were decidedly stoic. It seems from these posts and most reports about the split that Tom was shocked by Cap Katie’s choice to call it quits.
Capricorn’s are not big on impulse, preferring instead to observe and strategize before taking action, a modality that suggests Katie’s decision was made after careful and painful consideration. For all the time it takes a Cap to finalize a major life choice, there’s rarely any regret or repeal. When a Cap draws a line, it’s hard and true. Yet, Capricorn’s view people as investments, and while it’s unlikely Katie will change her mind about her decision to separate from Tom, she will by no means excommunicate him.
Sun square sun
Tom’s sun in Libra is square Katie’s sun in Capricorn. When squares form, conflict is inevitable and release is necessary. In intimate relationships, this release is often sexual and, for awhile, the intensity of the attraction, high-stakes of the drama and quality of the boning can feel like fate. Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are another example of the sun-square-sun dynamic and further proof that sparks may fly — but, in the end, a dumpster fire of emotional wreckage is likely.
Interestingly, Tom’s sun is also square Tom Sandoval’s sun, indicating that Schwartz prefers or is predisposed to challenging relationships, perhaps because they create the tension he needs to incite and inspire action. Whatever lies ahead for these two, we wish them much joy and thank them for sharing the highs and staggering lows of the ballad of bubba-dom.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
- The 12 zodiac signs
- What are the astrology houses?
- Here’s what each planet represents
- Sun, moon and rising signs: Get to know your Big 3
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
