Nessa Barrett Details Her Struggles With Eating Disorders On New Song “dying on the inside”

The alt-pop singer continues to bravely bare her soul.

Nessa Barrett is a big believer in honesty. Her 2021 breakthrough single, “i hope ur miserable until ur dead,” is a pretty good indication of how she feels about holding back. Now the alt-pop singer-songwriter is back with “dying on the inside,” a harrowing dance-rock song about her struggles with eating disorders. Since arriving on Friday, the song has been a fixture in the Top 20 of the Genius Top Songs chart.

Barrett wrote “dying on the inside” with Danny Silberstein, Mags Duval, and the track’s producer, Evan Blair, a longtime collaborator. This isn’t the first time Barrett has opened up about extremely personal topics. “I’ve talked about my borderline personality disorder, anxiety and depression,” she said in a statement, “but the one thing that I have been struggling to open up about has been my eating disorder.”

Although it’s a confessional track, Barrett sings the first verse from the perspective of outsiders who see her as young and beautiful and immune to the types of body-image issues she’s secretly facing.

​​You should take this as a compliment
If I were you, I would be more confident
You’re lucky that you’re pretty
Why are you obsessed with your appearance?

In the pre-chorus, Barrett refers to her eating disorder as her “best-kept secret.” She then employs some food imagery to explain the pain of keeping her struggle hidden.

It’s the dinner conversation no one talks about
Don’t know how much longer I can keep this down

The chorus touches on the unrealistic beauty standards that lead many young people to develop eating disorders.

Beauty is a knife
I’ve been holding by the blade
Swallowing my pride so I won’t eat anything
It’s all a lie, honestly, it’s eating me alive

She ends the hook with a devastating line about the damage she’s inflicting on herself.

I hate that I always look my best
When I’m dying on the inside

The song arrived alongside a music video that features Barrett obsessively weighing herself and ultimately setting fire to a glossy fashion magazine with her picture on the cover. The clip opens with an important disclaimer: “If you’re experiencing symptoms of eating disorders or struggling with your body image, you’re not alone. Text home to 741741 for support.”

You can check out all the lyrics to “dying on the inside” on Genius now.

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Comments
2 years ago

this song is already helping me so much

+1 upvotes