JACK’S BACK
In a 19-minute long sit-down with The Athletic last August, the only time Jack Wilshere came close to cracking anything resembling a smile was when he struggled to remember the identities of his close friends in football. Without a club after being released by Bournemouth, the sight of the one-time Arsenal and England superstar revealing how difficult it was to explain to his eldest child that no club anywhere wanted him, while candidly discussing the fact that his two youngest had never seen him play football and probably don’t know what he “does” was enough to bring a tear to a glass eye.
It was certainly a far cry from the cock-a-hoop Jack the Lad who got himself in bother eight years ago for singing anti-Tottenham songs while wearing shades and a bucket hat during the celebrations that followed Arsenal’s 2014 FA Cup win.
In the last six months, Jack has kept his head down, sometimes training with his former club and often training alone, despite not knowing what exactly it is he’s training for. Aged just 30, Wilshere should be in his playing pomp but not a single club in any of Europe’s top five leagues were prepared to take a punt on him. His reputation for having ankles made from biscuits doesn’t so much precede him as march in front of him loudly banging a giant drum while shouting “ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO THINK OF SIGNING JACK!”
One suspects that if somebody had arrived from the future in a time-travelling DeLorean to tell 2015 Jack that in seven-and-a-half years he’d be signing for Danish side Aarhus, he’d have laughed and presumed they’d mistaken him for Nicklas Bendtner. But it is off to mid-table Superliga side Aarhus that Jack is headed, in the hope of staying fit enough to prove there’s life in the old dog yet.
“I am very grateful for the opportunity AGF has offered me and I will do everything I can to help the team move forward,” said Wilshere, to his children, Aarhus fans and the wider public in general. “I am very much looking forward to contributing to the team.” And while his first move abroad may not be among those he envisaged as a young player with the world at his feet, one of football’s weirdly forgotten and unwanted men has at least secured himself something he openly admits he hasn’t had for some time: a good reason to get up in the morning.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Each player who has played, and it doesn’t matter what level, has great games and tough games, and [Moore] had a tough day at the office. Obviously, she’s sad and disappointed, but she’s an unbelievable person and player who belongs on this team. We are all behind her in this tough moment” – New Zealand manager Jitka Klimkova offers her support to defender Meikayla Moore, who scored a hat-trick of own goals in 36 minutes before being substituted during the 5-0 defeat by USA.
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FIVER LETTERS
“Regarding Brian Ross’s response to Ian Copestake’s response to Brian Ross’s response to Ian Copestake’s prizeless letter o’ the day (Fiver letters passim), your sentence wasn’t a question, Brian, and therefore did not require a question mark. The fact that you believe it did is the most surprising thing that has happened since my Uncle Eric’s widow tuned up at his funeral, only to discover for the very first time, upon meeting the other attendees, that her dear departed husband had seven grown-up children and three previous wives” – Mac Millings.
“I stayed up to the flamin’ wee small hours to watch the match at the Etihad. So much for ‘Spursiness’” – Richard Fernandez.
“Leeds v Manchester United is a blueprint for success if football’s appeal ever falters. Merely install temporary managers, or those that can’t speak English, flood pitches before the game so the ball can’t roll smoothly, and employ giant wind machines” – Williams.
“The Guardian informed me the other day I had read 1,057 articles in the past year. I’m thinking this achievement should be recognised by The Fiver” – Murray Todd.
“Re: 30th birthdays (Fiver passim), I spent mine in Lisbon watching Ally McCoist break his leg, Portugal pumping Scotland 5-0 and all hopes of going to USA ‘94 going up in smoke. Your readers’ dull 0-0 draws seem decent by comparison” – Dougie.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mac Millings.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Pep Guardiola has reminded hacks that he “never said the title race was over” after a weekend in which Spurs (yes, Spurs!) and Liverpool reignited it.
Swansea v Bournemouth and Fleetwood v Sheffield Wednesday have been called off after stadium-knack caused by Storm Franklin.
Look away now Mikel Arteta: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang made history by becoming the first footballer to score a hat-trick in the Premier League, Ligue 1, Bundesliga and La Liga after his treble for Barça against Valencia.
The PFA has called again for the introduction of temporary substitutions for head injuries after Robin Koch was allowed to play on for Leeds against Manchester United. Off the pitch, nine people were arrested “for a number of offences including public order, throwing of missiles and breach of banning order”, according to West Yorkshire Police.
England manager Sarina Wiegman praised 21-year-old Hannah Hampton after the debutant goalkeeper kept a clean sheet in the 0-0 draw with a strong Spain team. “She’s a young player, very talented,” she cooed. “She just needs games like this to develop.”
And Ben Garuccio had not scored a goal in four years and then he went and did a flamin’ scorpion kick in the flamin’ A-League to backheel himself into Puskás Award contention.
STILL WANT MORE?
Sneer and loathing in West Yorkshire: Paul MacInnes and our snapper, Tom Jenkins, braved the rain, fireworks and flying golf balls to bring you a first-person account of Leeds v Manchester United.
Barry Glendenning’s column this week is on Damien Duff who, despite being “scared” and “uncomfortable”, has swapped the south of France to take the managerial reins at League of Ireland strugglers Shelbourne.
Count ‘em: here’s 10 things from the weekend’s Premier League action to get your juices flowing.
Jonathan Wilson is feeling excited, and wants to tell you why.
Nobody wants to win Serie A, apparently. Nicky Bandini has more.
Frenkie de Jong sits down for a hot chat with Arthur Renard to discuss an unexpected text from Sergio Busquets, life without Lionel Messi and how Xavi is helping him improve.
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