The recent suicide of a 12-year-old boy in Tooele County has rattled parents across Utah.
“It’s natural to be worried,” said Annie Deming, PhD, a licensed psychologist and clinical director of pediatric behavioral health at Intermountain Primary Children’s Hospital. “You want to be attuned to your child and you want to make sure you’re not denying that there could potentially be something wrong, and at the same time, you don’t want to over worry because that’s not helpful either.”
2News reached out to several mental health professionals, including Deming, to seek the best advice for parents who are worried about the mental health of their children.
“It’s all about keeping the lines of communication open and noticing if your child is doing something different that could potentially be of concern,” Deming said.
Other psychologists agree with the importance of communication.
“If you’re worried about your child, ask them,” said Scott Langenecker, PhD, and professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Utah. “Ask them the question and try to do it at a time when there are no distractions around. Try to do it at a time when you’re not in a rush. Try to do it in a time when your child is actually in a relatively good mood.”
Douglas Goldsmith, a licensed psychologist in Murray, said parents need to move beyond the typical afterschool conversation when trying to learn about their child’s mental health.
“We often say, 'how was school?' the kid says, 'fine,'” Goldsmith said. "‘What did you do?' 'Nothing.' That’s customary. Every parent knows that conversation.”
Instead, Goldsmith offered tips for drawing more detail out of your child.
“'How was school today?' 'It was great.' 'Tell me, who did you hang out with at recess, what was happening at recess, who did you sit by at lunch, what were the kids talking about at lunchtime,'” Goldsmith illustrated. “We really want to get a good sense of who are your friends at school and what are the kids talking about.”
Goldsmith also said parents need to make sure their kids aren’t being a bully or a bystander to bullying.
“They’ll say, 'well, kids were kind of mean today,'” he said. “'Well, what were they doing?' 'Well, they were calling this kid names.' 'Well what did you do? Who did you go tell? Did you go and get help?'”
If you or someone you know feel hopeless or in crisis, resources are available. Call the national suicide prevention 24-hour lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. A list of area-specific suicide and crisis prevention hotlines in Utah can be found here.
Utah students can talk or text with a counselor through the SafeUT app.