'Bachelorette' star reveals the secret to her successful marriage


Rachel Lindsay and Bryan Abasolo are defying the odds of reality TV romance.

The couple, who met, fell in love and got engaged on "The Bachelorette" in 2017, were married in August 2019.

Lindsay, 36, told "Good Morning America" in a new interview that she and Abasolo are "still going strong to this day."

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Lindsay, who recently published the book "Miss Me With That," talked about the secret to her long-lasting relationship with 41-year-old Abasolo.

"The secret is not being performative," the attorney and podcast host said. "You come off the show ... and a lot of times you feel like you have to perform for the audience, or you have to perform for social media."
Heidi Gutman/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images, FILE - PHOTO: Bryan Abasolo and Rachel Lindsay on "Good Morning America," Aug. 8, 2017.

"For Bryan and I, we immediately left the show and immersed ourselves in each other's realities," she continued. "He moved to Dallas for me. We connected with our family, our friends. We built that circle of trust of people who know us and who love us. That established a really strong foundation for us at the very beginning."

Lindsay said they have a healthy relationship because they encourage each other and make sacrifices. They've realized "we just need to be there for each other and to understand each other, because no one knows the relationship like we do," she added.

As for why she wanted to write this book now, Lindsay said it was because "a lot of people think my life started the day I walked out of that limousine" on "The Bachelor" and "so much of my story has been told for me."

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"When you decide to be on reality TV, you don't get to control that narrative," she explained. "And then a lot of times people have seen me speak out about being a champion for change and for diversity and for inclusivity, but I wanted people to know who I was before I came on the show."

WATCH: Rachel Lindsay dishes on meaning behind new book, "Miss Me With That"

Lindsay, who was the first Black lead in the "Bachelor" franchise, said she often feels "very misunderstood" and her hope is that those who read "Miss Me With That" will get to know her on a more personal level through each essay.

"I want people to feel like when they're reading the book, they're hearing my voice, they feel like they're having an actual conversation with me," she said.

"You're also getting a more casual side of me," Lindsay added. "People are used to seeing the polished version of me, the professional side, but with this book I strip back the layers and ... what I hope you'll get is a whole other side of me that I'm vulnerable, I'm sensitive, I'm a little sassy -- which I think we already know that part."

"Miss Me With That" is available now.

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