JOHNSON CITY, Tenn. (WJHL) — College acceptance season can come with a lot of emotions for students and their caregivers.
Getting accepted can still come with anxiety related to change, and not getting accepted can bring feelings of rejection — both of which can take a toll on the mental health of students and guardians.
“Oftentimes, there can be very unrealistic expectations; there can be a fear of, ‘I’m not going to be good enough’,” said Angie Tolley, the lead therapist at Ballad Health’s Behavioral Health Outpatient Services.
Mental health experts encourage parents to be aware of the pressures students can face.
“Several people in our family history have attended this college or university, and you’re the next in line,” said Dr. Rebecca Milner, the ETSU counseling program coordinator. “You’re the first in our family to go to college or university. And so, we’re looking to you, and we’re so proud of you.”
Dr. Milner recommended reframing the common term “rejection” letter as a “decline” or “not right now” can help students cope through the process.
“If they don’t get into the college they wanted, it can come with feelings of grief for the life path they may have envisioned,” said Dr. Milner.
“That can really stir up issues of loss and grief,” she continued. “There are things that were created envisioning where they might go, what that next step might look like. So, there’s a variety of different things that they might be grieving. That goes the same for the parents.”
Health experts said it is important to note that one decision does not define students or their futures.
“This is just the decision for right now,” said Dr. Holly English, a school counselor at Science Hill High School. “It’s a big decision, but it’s not the final end decision. It doesn’t have to be; it could be different if it needs to be different. Who you are as a human doesn’t have to do with what school you go to — your worth and your values not found in that.”
English said most of the anxiety she sees during this time is healthy and motivating. She said bad news can help with resilience.
“Understanding that if it doesn’t go the way that we think it should…That doesn’t mean it’s the worst thing ever,” English said. “We can use that as an opportunity for something good.”
Leaving space for your child can help them process and eventually talk through their emotions, according to Tolley.
“Let’s just go for a walk,” said Tolley. “Oftentimes, as you’re walking together, the talking can come. Focusing on physical destressing in the moment can help open that door up for the conversations later.”
Eventually, this could include figuring out how to move forward.
“Taking pictures and telling a story through pictures, through creative writing, through drawing through other kinds of expressive activities and to trust or to know that that we make sense of things, even if we’re not saying it out loud,” said Milner.
Milner said if it gets to the point you are concerned about your child’s anxiety, reach out to a school counselor or a mental health professional.
