The Major Cap'n Crunch Mistake You Never Noticed
While many kids enjoy a bowl of crunchy, sweet cereal, some adults do, too, even if it does equate to eating candy drenched in milk. Many can relate to shuffling through the colorful boxes, taking in the friendly, cartoonish mascots, and eventually settling on a favorite. And no matter which flavor you pick off the store shelf, the adventurous Cap'n Crunch is always saluting you with a smile.
Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch first appeared on commercials in 1963, making him one of the longest-running and recognized cereal personalities (via Cartoon Research). With his good ship, the S.S. Guppy, along with a pirate crew of children and a cargo of delicious cereal, Crunch made it his mission to deliver sugary puffs to breakfast tables all over the world, avoiding the scoundrel Jean LaFoote.
While the Captain has some past transgressions like the "Oops! All Berries" incident, he still remains a beloved cereal character, viewed as a brave, nautical hero of the seven milky seas. But is our good Cap'n all that he appears to be, or is there a soggy skeleton in his closet?
Cap'n Crunch is not technically a captain
"Today I Learned — Cap'n Crunch is a Liar and a Fraud." This was a scathing headline in a 2013 FOODBEAST article that scandalized our childhood cereal Captain, noting that he's not really a "Captain" at all — he is a commander. If the internet is to be believed, the familiar three golden stripes on Crunch's sleeves are a sign of the Commander rank, with that being the highest rank Crunch has attained since debuting in 1963. Furthermore, Cap'n Crunch doesn't seem to have a military record with the United States Naval Forces.
But what does Mr. Crunch say about all this? In 2013, he tweeted a response to the Consumerist, whose original post stated, "We Don't Know How To Handle The Fact That Cap'n Crunch Has Been Living A Lie." Crunch boldly proclaimed, "All hearsay & misunderstandings! I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew, which makes me an official Cap'n."
And Crunch might just be correct, as the Naval Historial Foundation points out that, per the Navy website on terminology, "Any naval officer who commands a ship is addressed by naval custom as Captain while aboard in command, regardless of their actual rank."
While the jury may still be out on this scandal, all the wonderful memories of enjoying Saturday morning cereal while watching commercial episodes of Cap'n and his sea-faring scourages will forever have us calling him Captain Crunch.