Chloe Kim Threw Away Gold Medal After Pyeongchang Olympics: 'I Hated Life,' Snowboarder Says

Chloe Kim is reflecting on the pressure that sudden superstardom had on her after a successful run at the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang when the snowboarder was just a teenager.

In a new cover interview with TIME's Sean Gregory, Kim recounts her experience returning home and embarking on a media tour after taking the gold medal in the halfpipe. According to the profile, Kim dumped the medal in a trash bin at her parents' house after the Games.

"I hated life," she told TIME, explaining that she felt like she couldn't even go to restaurants in her own community after her success on the world stage without being approached.

"It makes you angry. I just wanted a day where I was left alone," she said. "And it's impossible. And I appreciate that everyone loves and supports me, but I just wish people could understand what I was going through up to that point."

Recounted Kim, now 21, "Everyone was like, 'I just met her, and she's such a bitch.' I'm not a bitch. I just had the most exhausting two months of my life, and the minute I get home I'm getting hassled. I just want to get my f------ ham and cheese sandwich and go."

Kim has since found resources to help her work through the challenges of life as an elite athlete, including therapy. It's been freeing, she said to TIME: "Just being able to let those things out that you just tuck in your little secret part of your heart helps a lot … I feel much more at peace now."

The athlete previously told PEOPLE in an October 2021 interview about her experience in the spotlight, explaining that she was used to being recognized in the snowboarding world — but not outside of it.

"After the Olympics, it was happening all the time everywhere," she said last year. "And it got really, really overwhelming. No one really prepared me for that. I'm better at it now and it's also gotten better. ... But at that point in time, at the apex, it sucked for sure."

Now, she's more prepared than ever heading into the Beijing Winter Games, starting in February.

Kim told TIME that she has several new tricks she's "excited" to unveil in Beijing, which she qualified for last year. The final U.S. Olympic team will be announced this week.

"They're an upgrade from everything I've done," she says, while also insisting she doesn't have "too many expectations" about the Games.

The athlete told TIME, "Just let me vibe. I'm just trying to chill." She gives it a beat. Then, in a more forceful voice, Chloe Kim gets real. "No, I'm just kidding. You just expect a lot out of me. I'm going to go off."

To learn more about all the Olympic and Paralympic hopefuls, visit TeamUSA.org. Watch the Winter Olympics, beginning Feb 3, and the Paralympics, beginning March 4, on NBC.