Processing Grief

Grief can be thought of as a reaction to loss. Most often we think of grief as occurring following the loss of a beloved person, but other losses can cause grief as well, such as death of a beloved pet, a best friend who moves away, declining health as result of a serious illness, a financial crisis, or loss of a home.

Grief can cause many emotions such as anger, disbelief, fear, guilt, and profound sadness. Every person works through grief at their own pace and in their own way. People may feel many different emotions, or feel relatively emotionally numb while they work out their grief. Often, emotions stemming from grief begin to abate only to recur, sometimes “out of the blue”. The grief process can last weeks, months, or even years.

Like other major stressors, grief can also cause physical symptoms including insomnia, weight loss, weight gain, fatigue, nausea, or physical pain.

To work through grief, it is essential to acknowledge it, as ignoring it does not help move forward with its processing.

Self-care and Self-acceptance

It is important to take care of yourself during the grieving process to remain as physically and mentally healthy as possible during a very stressful time. Be patient and non-judgmental with yourself as you work through your grief or help someone else through their grief.

Tips for self-care include:

• Engaging in a life-affirming activity such as a walk in nature, pursuing your hobbies, playing with your pet, or telling family stories orally or in writing.
• Being kind to yourself by taking a long bath, snuggling with a warm blanket, listening to calming music or a relaxation tape, or indulging in favorite foods.
• Using deep slow breathing as a way of calming yourself.
• Using meditation or hypnosis as a way of self-soothing. These techniques can also help you fall asleep, and get sufficient sleep.
• Practicing gratitude. Find small things for which to be grateful, which is nourishing for the soul.
• Expanding your spirituality. This can help gain better perspective and promotes resilience.
• Finding a partner who can encourage your self-care and, if possible, surround yourself with loved ones.

Processing Loss

As part of my work with children, I have learned that an inability to deal effectively with a profound sense of loss can lead to perpetuation of grief. Fortunately, for many children hypnosis can be used as a platform to help deal better with their loss (Anbar, 2021):

• Children learn how to enter a state of relaxation in hypnosis by imagining what they might perceive with each of their senses in a comfortable, safe place.
• Once they are fully immersed in the hypnotic state, I suggest that the children might invite whomever they lost to visit with them in their imaginary safe place. I suggest that they can imagine spending time with that individual, holding a conversation, or even touching or hugging each other.

Most children who choose to use hypnosis in this fashion report that they feel the experience was real, and that they no longer feel as much loss regarding the individual who visited with them. I have observed many children whose grief appears to have improved immediately after using hypnosis to process their loss.

I believe that people of all ages can benefit from use of hypnosis in this way, as long as they keep their minds open to the possibility of the effectiveness of this method.

Another way to process loss is to make a memory box in which people can place mementos of their loved one. These can include photographs, videos, audiotapes, favorite books, poems or artwork, items of clothing, jewelry, and even perfume or cologne.

Takeaway

There are many positive steps that can be undertaken to help yourself move forward through the grieving process. Be patient and accepting of yourself, and remember that the way you work through grief is unique and right for you.