PARENTING: Playing games with kids

By Dr. Lindsey Balderaz

Sitting down to a board game may seem like a relic of the past, but there’s a substantial amount of research to support bringing this traditional entertainment back into your family’s life.

Children can learn many important social skills by interacting with adults or older siblings in game play. From the basics of communication, turn-taking, and eye-contact, to more complicated skills like negotiating conflict and dealing with failure, playing board and card games with your children creates a perfect opportunity to practice these skills.

Children as young as 3-5 can begin playing structured games such as those that require basic matching or color recognition. Some favorites for this early age group are: Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Go Fish, and Slap Jack. As children get older, more complicated games can be introduced along with more advanced strategizing.

When playing games it is important to model the social behaviors you’d like to see in your child. If you notice your child having trouble when they fail or lose, talk through how you react and handle these situations. For example: “I notice that you call us cheaters when you don’t win, but when I don’t win, instead of calling people cheaters, I just think to myself that I need to try again and use a different strategy. It’s not fun to play with people who call names.”

Use language to name the behaviors you do and do not want to see. Example: “I like the way you are taking turns. When everyone gets a turn, the game is fair.”

Example: “I don’t like when you cry or throw your game piece when you don’t win. This is not having good sportsmanship and people will not want to keep playing with you when you do these things.”

The most important aspect of game play for children is the opportunity to build and strengthen connections and relationships. All children are born seeking connection. Game play allows us the chance not only to teach important social skills, but it also gives us time to be close, have conversations, make eye-contact, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company; many of the things that have taken a dramatic drop as mobile devices continue to infiltrate our homes and daily routines.

So, set the devices to the side and try introducing a game night with your child, then see what types of important new skills you’re able to work on while you strengthen your bond.