The Willow Springs Tuesday Study Club met for their annual Christmas party on December 7, 2021 at Club 60 in Mountain Grove. Pauline Cape, Kathleen Carel, Mary Knott and Claudia Marvin were the hostesses for the day. Club 60's banquet room had already been nicely decorated by the Alessi family, owners of Club 60. Pauline and Claudia added more decorations provided by Claudia.
Master Chef Jim was assisted by triplet Kaylee in the preparation of a delightful meal consisting of meat loaf, dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans and cranberries. Angel made one of her masterpiece desserts of spiced pumpkin cake with a butter cream frosting. The meal was
expertly served by triplets Kandi and Karena.
Following the delicious meal, Kathleen gave a presentation of Christmas humor.
WHAT IF SANTA WAS A LADY?
Ever wonder what Christmas would be like if Santa was a lady? Yes, a female Santa? While it goes against all tradition, there are many reasons why a woman would enjoy, and benefit from being Santa Claus. Just imagine . . .
1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There would be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Hawaii knowing it is all part of the job.
4. Just buy one big, black belt, and brass buckle, and you'd be accessorized for life.
5. There would be no reason to have your colors done.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, regardless of your behavior.
7. If people comment that your belly jiggled when you laughed, like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.
8. You would always work in sensible footwear.
9. There would be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who's boss.
10. You wouldn't need to buy an expensive briefcase.
11. No one would dare ask you for a ride to work.
12. You would never again have to wear pantyhose.
13. You would not need to make trips to the vending machine. You could just snack on milk and cookies all day long. (FOR FREE)!
14. You would never be asked to take an early retirement package.
15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teenagers would want to sit in your lap.
16. You would be guaranteed the best chair in the office.
17. Age discrimination would never be an issue again.
18. You would never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door.
19. No one would ask to see your job description.
20. And the elves would actually listen to your instructions with enthusiasm, instead of asking you to stop blocking the X-Box screen like your kids.
A CHILD’S NATIVITY MANGER
Seven-year-old Emily was drawing a picture of Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus, in the middle of the Nativity Manger scene. In the corner of the stable, she drew a large, fat man. When her mother asked about it, Emily said: “Oh, that man is 'Round John Virgin’.”
DOCTOR CHECK UP IN DECEMBER
Four-year-old Ruthie was visiting her pediatrician for a checkup. When Doctor Wilson looked into her ears with his otoscope, he said: “Do you think I'll find an elf in here?” Ruthie was silent.
So Doc Wilson reached for a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, “Do you think I'll find Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer down there?” Again, Ruthie was silent.
Then Doctor Wilson put on his stethoscope and began listening to her heart beat. And he asked, “Do you think I'll find Santa in there?”
This time Ruthie replied, “Oh no. Jesus is in my heart. Santa is on my underpants.”
A gift exchange and socializing followed Kathleen’s presentation, after which the ladies left for home carrying their take-home boxes of culinary treats. After a holiday break, Study Club will reconvene on January 18, 2022.
