A husband has been branded "abusive and controlling" online after it was claimed he cancelled his wife's doctor's appointment so she could focus on hosting a dinner for him and his friends.
His astonishing actions were chronicled in a post shared to Reddit's controversial "Am I The A**hole?" subreddit, where users reacted with shock to his alarming response to his wife's ongoing health issues.
According to the post, which was written by the demanding husband's wife, she had been "having issues" with her eyesight. As a stay-at-home-mom, she was forced to put off seeing a doctor for several weeks on account of simply being "too busy."
However, after being advised to speak to a medical professional about the problem "ASAP" she booked herself in for a check-up. There was just one problem: her husband "wanted to have friends over for dinner" that day.
When she told him about the appointment, he dismissed her concerns, telling his wife she could "reschedule" as her "eyes looked fine."
Despite this, she refused to back down, telling him "it's urgent" and that she "needed to go." Though she says her husband "nodded" in agreement at this, come the day of the appointment, things had changed.
As she was heading out to see the doctor he stopped her and explained he "already sent the clinic an email cancelling" and she could "maybe" go next week instead.
Asked why he cancelled the appointment, the husband apparently responded that it was so she "could host dinner for his friends" and said she "already knew" so "shouldn't act surprised."
The woman said she got "mad" at this response and flat out refused to host the dinner, rebooking the appointment and heading out as planned. According to the post, her husband had "a fit" at this response as he had "already invited his friends for dinner" and refused to "bail" on them.
Desperate to control the situation, the wife said her husband refused to drive her there, forcing her to call her sister and ask for a lift while his "tantrum" continued.
When she returned later that evening, she found the house "empty" with her husband calling her later that evening to say she "failed him" by refusing to host the dinner. He then proceeded to spend the night out and only returned the next day, when he was still "sulking."
He also branded her "manipulative and stubborn" for refusing to adhere to his demands. But while she acknowledged her husband works a "very stressful and demanding job" she was unsure as to whether he had been right to try and control her behavior.
Thankfully, Reddit was on hand to set that right.
"That is not a person who respects your autonomy," minuteye told the woman. "That is a person who believes he has the right to use whatever tools are at his disposal to get his way." Calligrafiddler concurred: "medical issues trump social issues...your husband is abusive and a gigantic a**hole."
ThatOneThingimajig noted: "He would PREFER you be in pain and neglect your health for the sake of him not having to f***ing cook or host" with chaos_rgj commenting: "This kind of behavior comes from a much deeper level of uncaring and is beyond disrespect."
Elsewhere, EngageAndMakeItSo accused the husband of putting his wife's "health at risk for his own selfish reason" and subsequently trying to make her "feel bad for his monstrous behavior."
Others like TepidCourage said the fact he had a demanding job while she was a stay-at-home-mom was irrelevant. "He is abusive and controlling," they wrote. "You are wrong that you owe your husband 24/7 childcare and maid service as a stay at home."
PsilosirenRose added: "He is being controlling, disrespectful, and entitled. He's your husband and he is putting your health and safety on a back burner to his convenience and fun."
Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.
According to Pew Center Research published in 2014, the number of mothers who do not work outside the home has risen 29 percent since 2000, up from 23 percent for the decade prior.
That represents a notable reversal in the overall decline in stay-at-home mothers recorded over the final three decades of the 20th century.
Husbands have been a regular source of controversy and consternation on social media, whether it's the man who demands his pregnant wife gets up before 7 A.M. or the hubby who refuses to help his wife with childcare.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Jack Beresford is a Newsweek Senior Internet Culture & Trends Reporter, based in London, UK. His focus is reporting on ... Read more
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