A man took to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum when he learned his girlfriend of seven years would not be invited to his brother's wedding simply because the two were not engaged or married.
In his post, which received more than 12,000 votes, u/Wedding309657 wrote that his brother "Sean" sent out invitations to family members. He realized that unless an individual is engaged or married, they would not receive a plus-one. However, he dated his girlfriend for seven years and planned to bring her to the wedding.
According to The Knot, a wedding planning resource, any couple that is married, engaged, live together or have dated more than a year should receive a plus-one.
"In this day and age, lots of couples live together before they get married—or never get married at all—so acknowledging their commitment is the right thing to do," the piece read.
Redditor u/Wedding309657 wrote that he asked Sean and his significant other if he knew that their rule would exclude his partner from the wedding, to which they "gave a 'too bad, so sad' type of reaction."
The poster then told the couple that he would not attend the wedding unless his girlfriend was invited as well.
"Sean tried to pull the 'she's not official' and 'she's not family' crap on me but I told him enough, I remained calm yet strict with my condition," u/Wedding309657 wrote.
His brother then informed their mother, who told u/Wedding309657 that his girlfriend can miss an event, and he should not put conditions on his brother's wedding. They also accused him of planning to propose to his girlfriend at the wedding.
Redditor u/Wedding309657 wrote that other members of the family also got involved and told him it was not his place to put conditions on his attendance at the wedding. Instead, they told him he should support him as his only sibling and father figure because their father died.
"But I think I'm trying to stand by my girlfriend and our relationship that means so much to me but they see it as choosing her over my brother," he wrote.
While the poster suggested he may have been out of line, many commenters supported his decision not to attend if his girlfriend was excluded.
"He is invalidating your relationship and it's an insult to you and your girlfriend," u/Fit-Bear commented. "This whole culture of 'it's my wedding I can be a d**k if I want' needs to get in the bin."
Redditor u/GoodGirlsGrace suggested that the rule was implemented to purposely exclude u/Wedding309657's girlfriend.
"After 5 years, they are more than official," they wrote. "What's the difference between an engagement and a committed 7-year relationship? A ring and a flashy proposal?"
Another commenter wrote that while Sean and his partner did not need to invite u/Wedding309657's girlfriend to the wedding, they should be prepared to face any fallout that may result from the decision.
"You didn't technically give him an ultimatum nor threaten him, you just said you wouldn't go," u/EstateAlarming2773 continued in their comment. "He's the one turning it into an ultimatum and ruining his own day, no reason to involve the entire family when you made your feelings very clear."
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Catherine Ferris is a Newsweek reporter based in New York. Her focus is reporting for the U.S. Trends Team. She ... Read more
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