A Redditor claimed in a now-viral post that their friend, a bride-to-be, asked some of her wedding guests to help cover wedding costs.
Posting to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum on Monday under the username u/confuseddesiman, the Redditor said: "One of my friends, Katie [fake name], is getting married soon, and while hanging out she mentioned that she will be sending us her Venmo so that we could 'pitch in' for the wedding."
The post has received more than 6,600 votes and over 940 comments.
According to the Redditor, Katie and her fiancé can't afford their wedding, so they are "requesting people to cash in."
"I come from a culture where parents usually pay for their kids' weddings, or sometimes the soon-to-be-wed do it for themselves or, borrow money [which they return back]," the Redditor wrote.
In the comments section, the Redditor explained that they are from India and currently residing in the U.S.
Confused, they asked Katie if they would return the money, but another friend, Maya, claimed that it's "normal to chip in for your friends' wedding" in the states.
Still, this didn't make sense to the Redditor, and they were offended that they were expected to help pay for the wedding. So, when they asked Katie for clarification as to why guests needed to contribute to the wedding fund, Katie got mad and "called [the Redditor] an a** for embarrassing her in front of everyone."
Later that day, Katie's fiancé called the Redditor to rescind their wedding invite.
Newsweek reached out to u/confuseddesiman for comment.
The Knot reported that the average U.S. wedding cost about $28,000 in 2019 and $19,000 in 2020.
While the bride's family is traditionally expected to cover a majority of the wedding costs, experts have said that it's become commonplace for both families to contribute to the wedding.
"In this day and age, there is no single answer to who is paying for a couple's wedding," Bryan Rafanelli, founder and chief creative officer of Rafanelli Events, told Harper's Bazaar.
"Be collaborative. While the parents of the bride might be expecting to foot the bill, they may be relieved to share the responsibility with contributions from the groom's side as well," added Steve Moore, co-founder and creative director of Sinclair and Moore.
"Given the current struggles of the global economy, a collaborative approach might be the best way to financially achieve the wedding you have been dreaming about planning," he told the magazine.
Of course, more couples are also covering some, if not all, of the wedding expenses on their own.
"About one-third of all couples today pay for or contribute to the cost of their wedding rather than expecting it to be entirely paid for," David Stark, chief creative officer of David Stark Design, also told Harper's Bazaar.
To help cut costs, Brides recommended that couples ask a friend or family member to get ordained and marry them. They also suggested that couples use candles "in place of flowers," and book the photographer for "8-10 hours instead of a full day," among other cost-saving tips.
Many commenters felt that Katie was wrong to ask her guests to contribute to the wedding considering the number of financial options available to couples struggling to pay for their ceremony, including but not limited to leaning on family members for help or cutting costs altogether.
"NTA [not the a**hole]. The audacity of announcing your Venmo to have people PAY for a party. The disinvite is a bonus: now you don't have to throw money away on a gift either," wrote u/GrouchyBear_99.
"I've never heard of anyone asking their friends to pitch in for a wedding outside of these bride/groomzilla posts. NTA for sure," said u/jhonotan1
"Not normal At All. Katie is an entitled A. But you are NTA," commented u/FrootLoop47.
Redditor u/ivylass added: "If one can't afford the wedding, they need to downsize. NTA."
"NTA—I have lived my entire life in the US and it is NOT customary to pay for your friend's wedding. Either your parents chip in or you pay for it yourself. Your 'friends' are trying to scam you," said u/lostalldoubt86.
Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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Sara Santora is a Newsweek reporter based in Florida. Her focus is reporting on viral social media posts and trends. ... Read more
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