Ian Matthews, a longtime youth, high school, college and adult soccer referee in the Buffalo area, died Thursday after a short bout with cancer. He was 73. Funeral information is available via John J. Kaczor Funeral Home.
Immediately recognizable by his thick English accent, Matthews garnered respect as an official and admiration as a person over three decades of commitment to Western New York soccer.
Matthews was born in Birmingham, England, in 1948 and moved to Canada in 1981, when he met his wife Karen and started a family. After moving to Orchard Park in 1993, he and Karen raised three sons, Scott, Andrew and Mark, and daughter Lindsay.
Matthews was active as a coach in West Seneca and Orchard Park soccer clubs in the mid-1990s and early 2000s, but he's known best in Buffalo soccer as a referee. His officiating career started in 1998, estimates Andy Evenhouse, Matthews' officiating peer and referee assignor for the Western New York area, and lasted until a couple weeks before his death.
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As a referee, Matthews could balance being gruff and stern on the field with an easygoing side off it. Even after doling out yellow and red cards, he'd cultivate friendships with players and coaches at all levels, offering everything from friendly banter to sage advice to simple soccer-related conversation.
"He liked getting along with everybody, whether they were little munchkins to adults, who respected him," said Andy Adelman, a referee peer and Southtowns friend. "You never saw guys get in Ian's face."
Multiple people, in reflecting on their interactions with Matthews, mentioned his "cheeky one-liners." His quick sense of humor and wry smile became hallmarks of who he was. His personality, especially after the final whistle blew, was magnetic.
"God, he had the softest side ever," said Mark, his son. "He's always good for a one-liner, making everybody laugh and smile, especially with the passing of my sister. We had my dad to lean on when Lindsay passed."
The Matthews family dealt with tragedy in 2008, when Lindsay, then a sophomore at SUNY Geneseo, was killed in a car accident. With Karen spearheading the endeavor, the family started the Lindsay Matthews 5K Run & 1-Mile Walk in her memory, devoting the proceeds to award two annual scholarships to an Orchard Park High School student-athlete planning to pursue a "helping" profession. The 10th iteration of the run is planned for 2022.
[Related: The News' feature on Lindsay Karen Matthews' lasting impact]
Both Karen and Mark remember how grieving was eased by Matthews' presence. "He made light of everything in a good way, not 'light' to [suggest] that it wasn't serious," Karen said. "He knew the right things to say at the right time," Mark echoed.
Matthews' genuine care was evident; he was excellent at remembering names and was quick to ask about something specific and meaningful to a person. His memory guided his compassion, a special trait.
"He always remembered something about a person – there's an art to that," said Karen, a longtime waitress at Danny's South in Orchard Park. "That's how my daughter was. He set a precedent in his kids to always treat people how you'd want to be treated. He found good in everybody – that's him in a nutshell. He'd walk in a room and the room would light up."
Matthews' compassion stirred even in his final days. He was one of the first to call John Kramer, a fellow referee in the hospital undergoing quadruple bypass heart surgery. "He gave me all kinds of encouragement and assurance, that we'd all be going out together again, and that everything would be OK," Kramer said.
Kramer remains grateful he was able to work a handful of high school games alongside Matthews this fall, including a memorable night at Johnnie B. Wiley Stadium when a thunderstorm and downpour left them huddled in a baseball dugout for 90 minutes, sparking a memorable conversation that touched on soccer and family, including Matthews' new grandson, James.
The Kramer example sheds light on the special affection Matthews reserved for the Buffalo referee community, a tight-knit group thanks to longevity, the considerable travel required and a mix of quirky personalities. Matthews' consistent involvement – Mark estimated his father refereed five or six nights a week since 1999, and 40-50 games this fall alone – came in addition to his day job as a mechanical engineer for two stints at Steuben Foods in Elma and one at Upstate Farms.
Many officiating peers became close friends; they were the people Matthews confided in when he learned of his cancer diagnosis on Nov. 11, otherwise preferring not to draw attention to his health battle. Tom George, who won a fight against lymphoma in 2018, spent a few hours with Matthews on Nov. 30.
"We talked about cancer, life and death, shed a lot of tears," George said, "but I also don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. There were so many stories."
George and Matthews reminisced about an old picture (above) from a local old-timers tournament they'd won playing together. The conversation turned to one of Matthews' friends, named Brian, holding the trophy. "He kept saying it was the MVP trophy. I told him, Brian, you played a good game, but I still think you're Swiss cheese," George recalled Matthews saying earlier this week, a small but fitting example of Matthews' humor.
Earlier this fall, a poignant moment in my own relationship with Matthews, which dates back about 20 years, still resonates. In the middle of a Sahlen's Cup game at Flash Fields, a thick English accent carried over from the sideline closest to Seneca Street. "Ben, you'd better start playing better. Your mother's here."
Off the soccer field, Matthews was either "tinkering" in his garage, cycling or working in the family garden, Mark said. "He was creative, talented," Adelman remembered. "He could build you anything with his hands; he rebuilt his car and his garage is filled with tools – I don't know where they're all gonna go."
Matthews often had a four-legged pal by his side, which unearthed another amusing fact. His first dog was named Sir Stanley, after the English soccer great of yesteryear who shared Matthews' surname. His most recent dog? A cocker spaniel named Stinker.
Matthews was a lifelong fan of Birmingham City FC, an English professional club that played in the country's top tier from 1986-2002 and competes currently in the EFL Championship (second division). He'd regularly grouse about the current plight of his home club and reminisce about the glory days, but also followed international soccer closely as a whole.
"He'd watch every single Premier League game, every Champions League game – he recorded them, so if we said something about a game he'd say, 'I don't want to know what happened!' " Mark said. "He often had to watch games twice because he'd usually fall sleep the first time."
Richard Namulala, a fellow Buffalo referee and friend of Matthews, connected Birmingham City's anthem with Matthews' life journey and how soccer became an inseparable part.
"Keep right on to the end of the road,
Keep right on to the end,
Tho' the way be long, let your heart be strong,
Keep right on round the bend.
Tho' you're tired and weary still journey on,
Till you come to your happy abode,
Where all the love you've been dreaming of
Will be there at the end of the road."
Through Twitter, members of the Buffalo soccer community shared their memories of Matthews.
Ian was one of the best HS officials and more importantly a better person!! To cross paths with Ian made you a better person! RIP Ian⚽️🙏 https://t.co/S9h4DfO40Y
— Section 6 Boys Soccer (@Section6soccer) December 3, 2021
It is with heavy hearts and extreme sadness that we say farewell to one of our beloved in Ian Matthews, a favorite among our @OfficialBDSL and @Section6soccer communities.Sláinte, Ian ❤️We will miss you dearly.
— BDSLRefs (@BdslRefs) December 3, 2021
The last time I saw Ian Matthews, he was reffing my daughter’s high school lacrosse game. Not only did he love soccer, but he loved the craft of officiating. He was the consummate pro RIP.
— Jeff Marion (@jeffmarionlaw) December 3, 2021
A genuine good hearted soul. Whether it was talking of his beloved @BCFC or knowing our players by name, Ian was the consummate football man. Loved that he kept a watchful eye on our players even after they moved on in their lives. Gutted. Sir Matthews, you will be missed. https://t.co/64kEFhg9UZ
— Frontier FC (@FcFrontier) December 3, 2021
The BDSL is very saddened to learn of the passing of one of our refs, Ian Matthews. He'll forever be a beloved and respected member of our great soccer community. We extend our deepest condolences to his family during this time.
— BDSL (@OfficialBDSL) December 3, 2021
We love you Ian. Thank you for everything you have done for our Buffalo soccer community. You will be missed by countless.
— JL Dutch (@DutchBDSL) December 3, 2021
Really saddened to hear of the passing of Ian Matthews, who's officiated our games for as long as we've been a club. Quality ref, even better person. We had him for games several times this summer. He will be deeply missed.
— WNY United SC (@WNYUnitedSC) December 3, 2021
My favorite official. Ian forgot more about soccer than I’ll ever know. Just a great guy who lived the game and the kids playing it. I’m stunned. I’m sure he’s on the big pitch right now handing out yellows…..
— Kevin Witman (@kevw67) December 3, 2021
Absolutely heartbreaking. Ian was a staple of the Buffalo Soccer Community & a lovely gentleman to be around. Stern, fair & full of wisdom with the cheekiest one liners. You will be missed sir. https://t.co/c6VP0xXDYL
— Kevin (@ImKevinAu) December 3, 2021
Always enjoyed seeing Ian at Sectionals. A warm, friendly, charming person. Glad I had the privilege of having him work one of our games this year. https://t.co/hTBbuPyilR
— Skip Forney (@CoachSkip) December 3, 2021
Absolutely crushed. An even better person and friend than he was a ref… and he was amongst our very best refs💙💛 https://t.co/Qt8HQoETz2
— FC Buffalo (@FCBuffalo) December 3, 2021
Ian Matthews is at the top of the list of great people I’ve met playing soccer. I’ll miss having game long conversations with him, his dry sarcasm with his smirk, and even the time he gave me a red card. See you on the pitch again someday, Ian. I’ll try to behave in the meantime pic.twitter.com/FEVI1i7Q5o
— cully 🐻 (@deadrichard) December 3, 2021