Not Getting Enough Sleep?

Getting good sleep is a prerequisite to accomplishment, to good relationships, and to a pleasurable life. If you’re not getting enough sleep (7 to 9 hours a night for most adults, perhaps a bit less if you're older), your answers to these questions may yield useful things to try.

Are you not significantly overweight? Overweight can lead to poor sleep and even sleep apnea.

Is your blanket physically and psychologically comforting? For example, a familiar blanket you've used for years. Of course, you may want a light blanket in warmer weather, a heavier one in winter.

Do you have a mattress that’s comfortable? If it sags, it may reduce the quantity or quality of your sleep.

Do you exercise in the early evening, perhaps right before dinner? Doing that should, after the temporary energizing effect of exercise, tire you out, making you more likely to sleep well.

Do you eat modestly at dinner and not at all within two hours of bedtime? Eating increases heart rate and blood pressure, and when you’re trying to sleep, you want to do the opposite: slow down.

Do you have little or no caffeine after the late afternoon? When you were younger, you may have been able to more quickly metabolize caffeine but later in life, less so.

Do you limit yourself to no more than eight ounces of liquid within an hour of going to bed? If you have a full bladder, you'll sleep less soundly and be more likely to wake in the middle of the night.

Is your bedroom cool, enabling your body metabolism to slow further?

Do you have a regular bedtime that conforms to your natural biorhythm? Some people are early-to-bed/early-to-rise while others are night owls. Both are fine, just pick a sleep schedule that’s right for you. Some people do best psychologically when giving themselves no wiggle room—for example, in bed by 11 PM. Other people do fine when giving themselves a bit of leeway.

Do you have a calming bedtime routine? Having one is comforting, preparing your mind for sleep. A number of clients have adopted some parts of my sleep routine: Write my to-dos for the next day, walk the dog, brush my teeth, get into my most comfortable and comforting night clothes: get into bed, whisper, “I’m grateful for another good day,” and play an album of lullabies while I read something calming, whether a novel, gardening catalog, or magazine—yes, perhaps Psychology Today. Then, when I’m feeling even moderately sleepy, I turn out the light, which signals my dog to sidle to my side, with my wife on the other. I find it additionally comforting to sleep hugging a plush dog. If I have any difficulty getting to sleep, I say a mantra as I breathe: In with the good air, out—with—the—bad. If I wake in the middle of the night, I repeat that mantra, maybe also picturing my garden, plant by plant.

If there’s outside noise when you’re sleeping—for example, from the street or a neighboring apartment—do you wear earplugs and/or use a noise machine? They make white noise, gentle rain, waves, etc. In some models, you can use it to stream sounds (lullabies? Mindfulness tracks? ) from your phone.

Will your room be dark when you sleep? If not, do you wear an eye mask?

Have you found a position that you find most comfortable: on your right side, left side, or back, in the fetal position, or straight out?

If you didn’t get a good night's sleep, do you take comfort in the fact that your body may well recognize that and so you’ll probably sleep better tomorrow?

If none of that works well enough, do you sense that the problem is psychological? For example, perhaps you frequently worry when you're trying to get to sleep or find that your worries wake you in the middle of the night. If so, it may help to keep a sleep journal—writing the worrisome thoughts and trying to process them, perhaps before trying to get back to sleep, or during the day.

Perhaps you're catastrophizing, or there's nothing you can do about a problem and should work toward acceptance—or maybe there is something you can and want to do about the problem. If you can't successfully process your worries on your own, it may be time to try a few sessions with a cognitive-behavioral therapist.

If you've tried the more promising of the above tactics but they haven't worked well enough and you sense that the problem is physiological, do you want to try the over-the-counter melatonin? Melatonin is a naturally occurring substance in our brain that helps us fall asleep. Less of it gets secreted as we age. If you're still having trouble getting enough sleep, perhaps because your partner is noticing possible sleep apnea, it may be time to visit a sleep clinic.

In sum, is there at least one of the above that you want to try? Do maintain an experimental mindset. Perhaps try the few of the tactics that you think most likely to help. If that combination works, remove one tactic and see if you're still sleeping well.

Of course, I wish you pleasant dreams.

If these haven't helped enough, check out 8 Tips for Better Sleep.

I read this aloud on YouTube.