CHRISTMAS FOR ALL Family trauma sidelines single mom

As part of the annual Press Christmas for All Campaign, we share with readers the stories of those applying for help. This is one of them.

Life seemed to be progressing normally until “Bella” was 13, when her mother suffered a severe stroke that turned the family upside down. After weeks in the hospital, her mom was able to return home, but months of intense therapy were ahead for the parent Bella had always depended on.

“She had to focus on herself and couldn’t really take care of us after that,” Bella said of her mother’s recovery. “It was really rough. She had to relearn how to walk and how to talk. She even had to learn how to hold a fork again. She also lost a lot of her memory.”

At the time of the stroke, Bella was 13, her younger sister 12, and her two older brothers were 16 and 18. The family coped as best they could, but when Bella was 18, the family suffered another debilitating loss.

Bella’s sister passed away unexpectedly.

“It was a terrible blow,” Bella said. “I had never dealt with someone so close passing away. My sister and I were really close. I didn’t know how to deal with grief. I didn’t know what to do or how to ask for help.”

The unbearable pain of losing her sister spurred Bella into a downward spiral and a struggle with substance abuse. Bella struggled with addiction for years afterward although finding out she was pregnant five years ago gave her a glimpse of what sober living could be like.

Still struggling with her addiction following the birth of her daughter, Bella ended up serving some jail time. She lost custody of her daughter, who is being fostered by grandparents.

Getting released from jail was a turning point for Bella, and she was determined to recover from addiction and set her life on a different path.

“I jumped right into my recovery after I got out of jail,” Bella told Press Christmas for All. “I did all of the classes and got regular counseling.” With over one year of sobriety under her belt, Bella’s only plan is in moving forward and regaining custody of her child.

She completed several courses: coping skills, relapse prevention and an intense 12-week parenting course. She works hard and has paid off numerous court fines ahead of schedule.

Bella has a long commute from Kellogg to get to work and to visit her daughter daily in Coeur d’Alene, but her transmission is going out. Her Christmas wish is for help to get into a different vehicle.

Transportation is vital and getting into a different vehicle would “be a game-changer,” Bella said. “My vehicle is my life. Getting to work and seeing my daughter every day is necessary.”

Housing has been a challenge also. Currently living with her brother, she has been on numerous waiting lists for an apartment for months.

As she continues moving forward, Bella is grateful for her accomplishments. Staying sober throughout the last year is just the beginning, she said. “I have new coping skills now, and I don’t want that life for my daughter,” Bella said. “My daughter notices the difference, I can see it in her face.”

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Each year, Press readers donate generously to the program. Every penny raised is distributed to Kootenai County residents. All overhead costs are covered by The Hagadone Corp.

The gift recipients are our neighbors who are struggling, including the elderly, disabled, homeless and mentally ill. Many who seek assistance from Christmas for All are working, but living near or below the poverty level.

The beneficiaries of Press Christmas for All are going to keep their dignity intact while the community provides a hand up to help get them back on their feet.

Press Christmas for All is managed by The Hagadone Corp., with assistance from CharityReimagined.Org. It is a legally recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit, run entirely by volunteers.

If readers are moved to donate toward this worthy cause, please make your donation sooner than later.

Here are four ways to do it:

• Mail a check to Press Christmas for All, 215 N. Second St., Coeur d’Alene, 83814.
• Call The Press and make a secure credit card donation over the phone: 208-664-8176
• Go to cdapress.com. Click on the MENU button, then click on Christmas for All 2021.
• Drop off your check at The Press weekdays between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m.: 215 N. Second St. in downtown Coeur d'Alene.

Donors

Randy & Jane Thomas; In memory of Karman Baker; Richard & Nona Barclay; Linda Fabian; James Ummel; Thomas & Connie Dunn; Jessica Peterson; Howie & Jennifer Stalwick; Sam & Diane Howard; Michelle Gant; Elizabeth Kofmehl; Tom & Nancy Burke

Over $500

Aaron Notestine, Amanda Jaglowski, Andrea Poole & Ashley Notestine