This Christmas won’t be all presents and bows for Kelly Clarkson.
As the singer’s acrimonious divorce from Brandon Blackstock rages on, she candidly — and tearfully — admitted during her new TV special that she is “feeling alone” this holiday season.
“I’m gonna be real with y’all: When I wrote this next song, I was crying my face off, which happens even at Christmastime, everyone,” Clarkson, 39, said with a chuckle in NBC’s “Kelly Clarkson Presents: When Christmas Comes Around,” which aired on Wednesday night.
“I had just put my kids to bed, and I was just going through it, having a really hard time,” she continued. “It’s been a really tough year for a lot of us. And I wrote this song for me, but also because there aren’t many holiday songs for people feeling alone or lost or just plain sad — other than Dolly Parton’s classic ‘Hard Candy Christmas,’ which we all love.”
The “American Idol” Season 1 winner then introduced her new song “Merry Christmas (To the One I Used to Know),” which includes lyrics like, “If everything was like a dream, you’d be by my side / And who I thought you were was true, not made up in my mind.”
Clarkson choked up while discussing the meaning behind the emotional track and again at the very end of her performance when she briefly paused, seemingly to prevent her voice from quavering.
The “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” songstress filed for divorce from Blackstock, 44, in June 2020 after nearly seven years of marriage. A judge declared the former couple legally single this August, but the case is still ongoing.
Clarkson and Blackstock share 7-year-old daughter River and 5-year-old son Remington. The talent manager — who said in court earlier this year that he intends to leave the entertainment industry to become a full-time rancher — also has 19-year-old daughter Savannah and 13-year-old son Seth from his previous marriage to Melissa White.
While the “Kelly Clarkson Show” host has had some wins along the way in her divorce, including the judge upholding her prenuptial agreement and awarding her the exes’ $10.4 million Montana ranch, she has had to endure some significant losses, too, most notably paying Blackstock nearly $200,000 a month in spousal and child support.
