Laugh as much as you breathe
Have you ever visited NYC between Thanksgiving and Christmas? It is a magical time to visit the Big Apple! I don’t have a trip planned to New York City; I am just reflecting on a past holiday that brought me joy. It’s important to think of the good times, not dwell on the bad.
We all know that this time of year can be stressful and depressing for some. I am going to spend the next few weeks with pointers to guide you through the holidays with grace and style.
First and foremost, please remember to be conscious of your breath during stressful times. Taking the time to pause and breathe can make a world of difference. Inhale to a count of 4 or 5, pause, then exhale for a count of 4 or 5. Repeat three to five times.
During the holidays it is also important to keep in mind there are many things you can control and many things you cannot control in your life. For instance, you cannot control how others feel, how others behave, how others react, what others say, and the attitudes of others, but you can control your response to others, how you speak to and treat others, and how others affect you.
Some words of wisdom from Shannon Thomas, a trauma therapist and the author of "Healing from Hidden Abuse" reminds us that you have no control over someone else's behavior, but you can work on your own reaction to it. When going no-contact isn't an option, you are able to choose your reaction. Thomas recommends forging an emotional boundary with what she calls "detached contact."
"Detached contact centers on our ability to be physically present, but not emotionally wounded by the actions of a family member," Thomas explains. "We consciously recognize the psychological games they're playing to get a reaction out of us, but we refuse to engage in the toxicity." Instead, she says, invest your energy in healthier family members who treat you with respect, and "deflect all attempts by the toxic person to engage in an argument or drama." Placing distance between your emotions and their chaos-sowing tactics isn't simple, but it does get easier with practice.
While emotions seem to run higher during the holidays, detaching from them is a form of mindfulness. As the feeling or emotion arises, don’t judge or beat yourself up about it. Acknowledge it and then release it. I use a visualization of a putting the feeling/thought on a leaf and letting the leaf float down a beautiful stream.
That’s one way of letting go of the emotion or thought. You could also, instead of dwelling on a negative, turn it into a positive. I know this is easier said than done. Most of all do not let negative mind chatter consume your thoughts.
Then remember to laugh because a good laugh has immediate effects on your body. As you know, I love corny jokes. Here are a few I found online.
What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses. Why is Santa so good at karate? ‘Cause he’s got a black belt. I know, corny, but maybe they made you smile ever so briefly.
I have also been known to laugh at myself because it mentally helps me lighten up. Did you know that laughing induces beneficial physical change in your body? And that because it increases your oxygen intake, it stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles? It also increases the endorphins that are released in your brain. Laughter truly is the best medicine.
Most of all, remember to breathe. Laugh and breathe — an inexpensive prescription for happiness.
If you have some advice or thoughts on how to cope with stress and depression during the holidays please don’t hesitate to email me at ashton@ashtoncannon.com.
Ashton Graham is an educator, book publisher, photographer, cowgirl and yoga enthusiast. She is currently studying to become a certified yoga therapist and lives on a ranch in West Texas. Visit www.ashtoncannon.com to learn more.
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