Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., of Success Starts With You, author of Cognitive Enlightenment and awarded Top International Coach 2020 by the IAOTP.
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A few years ago, I received a phone call from an organization where I conducted emotional intelligence and leadership development training. They had promoted a good employee with excellent technical skills into a managerial position and he was failing miserably to the point of being fired. They wanted to know what went wrong. I pulled up his emotional intelligence assessment and under the interpersonal skills competency, he scored poorly. Before promoting him, they should have had him take some managerial courses to improve these skills. This is a common occurrence in organizations.
What do you look for when hiring and promoting? Skills? IQ? Research shows us that emotional intelligence is the number one component that sets high achievers apart from others. Specifically, a persons’ level of EI determines how they will react to a situation and how they handle challenges. It is also the top skill used to improve relationships.
EI Deep Dive
Your emotions can cause a psychological response to an event, affecting how you process and judge the situation in your head. In addition to a psychological response, emotions can also lead to a physiological response — a physical reaction, which then leads to a behavioral reaction — what I refer to as a go-to style of responding. In other words, you react to a trigger and your go-to reaction style is consistent when you are triggered. Most triggers are your blind spots and cause an unfavorable reaction.
Our thoughts and emotions are powerful. Increasing your EI is one of the best ways to manage your emotions and move from unfavorable reactions to thoughtful responses. Beliefs and thoughts about an event will lead to some type of emotional response.
First, an activating event/moment occurs. Then your beliefs surrounding the event shape your emotions and move you into your reaction. What’s the remedy?
Take a step back. You need to be an objective observer of the event. Being an objective bystander allows you time to evaluate your beliefs and feelings about what occurred, which can help you achieve a different response. In this way, you are managing yourself and your emotions. As a reminder, the number one derailer for senior management is a lack of impulse control.
Triggers And The Brain
A common question I am asked is how do I know if I’m experiencing a trigger? Earlier, I mentioned a physiological response in the body, which is usually a kinesthetic charge in the gut. Your body tightens and you react without thinking. Paying attention to that charge is the warning signal to not react. What do you do now? What happens next? The tool I teach my clients is to become curious. Being curious can help you think about how and what questions. It is a powerful tool that can help you challenge your thoughts and take the objective bystander approach.
Another tool I recommend using before reacting is to reflect what the person said back to them by repeating it. Many individuals feel awkward when they make behavioral changes and are uncomfortable with the silence. Reflecting their words back to them can help keep you out of the emotional part of the brain, allowing you to access the logical, reasoning function part, thus avoiding the cognitive hijack. After reflecting, you can then move into the curiosity questions. Now you have shifted from reacting to managing your emotions and your mindset.
Hiring And Promoting
How do you know if the person you are hiring has high EI? Many of my clients have me administer the EI assessment when they have narrowed down the possible hire to two candidates. Here is a common scenario I hear: My client really enjoyed interviewing someone and felt this is the person for the job. However, after administering the assessment, he realized that the individual would not be a good fit based on how they scored. Using the assessment reveals the strengths and weaknesses of the potential hire.
The same is true for promoting within. Many organizations fall into the old adage, "this person is a good employee and has great technical skills. Let’s give them a manager position." And, as mentioned earlier, who you promoted may not have managerial skills. You can choose between two different types of results after the assessment has been given: the workplace report or the leadership report. Most people request the workplace report, which has an overview of how they score on the 15 competencies. The leadership report goes into more detail about your strengths as a leader and areas that derail your leadership, especially impulse control.
There is also a 360 EI assessment, which is good to bring awareness of how others view someone and how they view themselves, often revealing an unacknowledged behavior or blind spot. When interviewing or promoting from within, make use of these assessments for better results in this process to give you greater insight into the individual you are considering.
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