Coconuts are the flirtiest fruit, and it’s time we have that conversation. Luckily, comedian, actress, and makeup aficionado Meg Stalter was ready and and willing to be the brave person to talk about this. In collaboration with Harmless Harvest and the brand’s new dairy-free coconut yogurt, Stalter is celebrating the start of "spooning season," and what better way to get into spooning than with a fun, flirty coconut yogurt? (Have I stomped on this metaphor enough yet?)
Whether you’re cuffed up or not, you, too, can find someone to spoon with. Stalter says the best wait to survive spooning season is to rid yourself of the concept that spooning is solely a romantic endeavor. “Whenever I feel weird about dating, I just focus on my friends and family and it feels just as comforting as being in a relationship,” she explained to me over the phone. “I think friendships are romantic, too. I've had way better, deeper friendships than I've had of people I've dated so far in life.” Not to mention a friendship breakup can hurt as much, if not more than a regular romantic breakup. “Because friendship's for life — I want to keep you around for forever. And with dating, every person you date you are like, ‘Okay, this is either going to be we're married and only seeing each other, or I'm going to be hurt by you one day.’” Morbid, but true.
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But regardless of who you’re spooning with, whether it’s your dog, your best friend, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, or an alien species coming down from space to experience human touch for the first time, Stalter has recommendations for beauty products you can use during your spooning sesh. When it comes to a skin-care cuddle moment, Stalter loves the Neutrogena Hydroboost line, and the Hydrogel sheet masks in particular. “It's the ultimate self care, easiest fix, fastest product. I'm just obsessed.” One peek at her Instagram makes one thing clear: Meg Stalter Loves Black Eyeliner. Her personal favorite at the moment is the Haus Laboratories by Lady Gaga Liquid Eye-Lie-Ner, a budge-proof liner that she wears every day.
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“You just have to get ready and do your makeup the way you really want to do it, and the way that you feel is most fun for you and not for other people."
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Stalter doesn’t shy away from a big, bodacious makeup and hair look, and doesn’t think you should, either. “You just have to get ready and do your makeup the way you really want to do it, and the way that you feel is most fun for you and not for other people,” she says. “Because not everyone likes the makeup I wear, but I really love it. In some videos, I've had people comment, ‘Oh my god, the bad makeup totally pulled the video together’, and... it's really just what I was wearing that day, but I just can't care what other people think.” As someone who believes that at times just being a woman on the internet is an act of rebellion, I can’t agree more.
“I think if you're afraid of something, if you're afraid of wearing something, that might mean that you really want to wear it, and you should just give it a go. To get ready for yourself, it always makes you feel more hot and confident, because you are doing it for you, and not for someone else," Stalter continued. It may be a bizarre form of exposure therapy, but it works. You're the only person who has to live in your own body, and if you're wearing something because you want to try it, power to you. From time to time, it's great to break out of your routine and shimmy it up a bit. “The more you wear it, the more you'll get used to it. I think when I get scared about wearing something wild, I'm like, ‘Oh, it means that I actually really want to wear it,’ so I'll just do it. And then I always get compliments when I dress like that for myself.”
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The one thing about beauty that still squicks Stalter out? Hair extensions. “I always think it's weird and bizarre, because the hair looks so much like my hair, and it's not a wig. You know what I mean? I think it's really strange — I'm touching my hair, and I can't tell if it's the extension or my own hair because it looks identical. I don't know how they do it, how they can match hair," Stalter gushed. "You are showing up to my house to do my hair, and you already have the extensions. How you got this from a picture... how does it match perfectly?” Extension specialists are a special type of wizard, with their ability to look at someone’s head and say “I know what color that is,” and then find other hair that matches the hair they just looked at. It’s magic. I want to know, but I don’t want to break the illusion. Some secrets aren't meant for us common folk to know.
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"To get ready for yourself, it always makes you feel more hot and confident, because you are doing it for you, and not for someone else."
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To bring the spooning narrative full circle, I had to end the conversation with Stalter about her favorite position. Spooning position, you weirdos. Would she rather be the big spoon, the little spoon, or be entwined like two fork tines with your legs with your feet in their face? “Definitely not that option. I don't know if I would like th—Well, you know, sometimes I don't, actually I'll take it back. I really don't mind that either.” At this moment, I am thrilled I gave her the option. “I think I like to mix it up, and it depends on the person. If it's to be honest, if it's a family member you're sleeping by, I actually would probably sleep with my feet by their head right?” Exactly, Meg. Exactly.
“I think I'm normally the little spoon, but I don't mind mixing it up,” Stalter explains. “You can't pick just one. I think, right? You can't say I'm never going to be the other spoon, because I think everybody wants to be both once in a while.”
But of course, one position comes with more pressure than the other. “I think the big spoon is nerve wracking because you don't know when to pull away, you have too much power there. I'll feel bad, [wondering] am I pulling away too soon, is the person going to be sad? That's probably why I don't know when to stop, but I like to mix it up.”