A woman took to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" after she kicked out her father and his wife when the couple announced they planned to name their future twins after the Redditor's deceased siblings.
In her post with more than 11,000 votes, No-Importance8463 explained her younger brother, sister and mother died in an accident eight years ago. She and her father subsequently drifted apart since their deaths. The Redditor also noted that her father refused to go to therapy and criticized her when she began seeing a therapist a few months after the accident.
No-Importance8463 said her father remarried two years ago to a woman she does not get along with. She claimed her stepmom told her father to not invite her to their wedding.
"When she married my dad she was also under the impression that the money he spent on her and the house he lived in was his (he never said it was, she just assumed)," No-Importance8463 wrote. "My mom left me a nice amount of money in her will and I used it to invest and also work in the tech field so I'm well off."
Responding to one of the comments, No-Importance8463 explained she also gave her father money each month.
She wrote her father and his wife are expecting a boy and girl. At the couple's gender reveal party, her father announced they plan to name the twins after No-Importance8463's siblings.
No-Importance8463 was "shocked" and told them that naming the twins after her siblings is "weird," to which her father's wife told her to stop being jealous.
"At this point I'm pissed I ignore her and tell my dad that he would always stick up for me in the past yet [lets] his wife belittle me now, how hurt I was he didn't invite me to his wedding, how he never once said was proud of me or even a thank you or I love you after I bought this house for him," she wrote.
No-Importance8463 proceeded to say that her father told her to get out of the house, and just as she was about to leave, her stepmom yelled after her. Then No-Importance8463 went back inside and told her father that he and his wife had a month to leave the house she said she purchased for him.
Since then, the Redditor said family and friends on both her mother and father's side agreed with her, but suggested she only kick out her stepmom but let her father stay.
A piece published on Stepping Through pointed out a few things a biological parent can do to help ease potential conflict in a stepfamily.
One of the main strategies was to ensure everyone is respectful to one another.
"Be clear that you don't expect anyone to like or love each other (especially at the start), but everyone must be civil and treat each other with respect," the article read.
Although No-Importance8463 thought she may have been wrong for kicking them out, many commenters defended her.
"They shouldn't name their twins after your dead siblings," a comment with more than 13,000 votes read. "It's totally wrong because your dead siblings were born to your mom and dad, not step mom."
Other Redditors suggested No-Importance8463's stepmother may be trying to push her away from her father.
"The way new wife has worked to cut OP out of her father's life, it's not implausible she's seeking to overwrite OP's siblings in her husband's mind," one person wrote.
Another Redditor wondered if it was No-Importance8463's father's idea to name the twins after her siblings, claiming that it may be part of an unhealthy coping strategy from someone who rejected therapy.
"It's also really unfair on the twins—from birth, they'll be a reminder of a tragedy they know nothing about and will be haunted by the ghosts of people they never met," the comment continued. "The dad will most likely be constantly comparing them to idealised versions of the ones he lost and they won't measure up (no one can)."
Although many criticized No-Importance8463's stepmother, they also weighed in on her father's behavior.
"Cut him off," one wrote. "You are not your father's keeper ESPECIALLY if your father can't be bothered to try and have a healthy, respectful relationship with you."
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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Catherine Ferris is a Newsweek reporter based in New York. Her focus is reporting for the U.S. Trends Team. She ... Read more
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