Woman hurt as girlfriend not invited to sister’s wedding due to groom’s ‘anti-gay’ family


A woman is considering refusing an invitation to her sister’s wedding as her girlfriend was not invited because the groom’s family is “anti-gay”.

Posting on the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the woman explained that she has been with her girlfriend for almost two years.

Although her own family are supportive, her new brother-in-law’s family are “very regressive and religious”. While he is “fine”, his extended family “is very traditional and anti-gay”.

The bride gave the Redditor the invitation in person, and explained that she wasn’t getting a plus one “because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family.”

However, all of their other siblings who are in heterosexual relationships have received plus ones for their partners.

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She said: “I understand where she’s coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I’m not going to try and force her to give me a +1, but I’m seriously considering not going.

“I love my sister, but I’m not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.”

She concluded the post by asking for outsider opinions on whether or not she will be an “the a**hole” if she decides to stay at home.

The comment section was overwhelmingly on her side.

The top comment with 26,000 upvotes reads: “You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the [a**hole] for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that her sister be treated with such disrespect.

“Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays?”

They concluded by saying: “I’m sorry you’re being treated this way.”

Another commenter said that as a gay man, he can empathise with what she’s going through. He said he personally wouldn’t go, and would tell the sister that she is hurt “that she wouldn’t stand up for you in the face of bigotry.”

Another Redditor made the valid point that her family’s support “means not shoving you back into the closet to appease homophobes.”

Sadly this isn’t the first time someone has been made to feel bad about who they are and who they are in love with in the run-up to a wedding as we previously wrote about a man who wanted to skip his gay brother’s wedding.

Comments / 372

Christie Allen

Thou hurtful, this is your sister's wedding. Attend the wedding as one, congratulate her & her new groom & then excuse yourself from the remainder of the ceremonies. Your sister will ask why are you leaving so soon. Politely tell her the truth. You came to see her get married & to congratulate her & you would love to stay but you since your girlfriend was not invited, you feel it's best you leave now. If your sister says anything about her feelings being hurt, just tell her that makes two of us. Then smile, hug her & walk away.

Rosemarie Carreras

Hello, It is a hard choice to make.For once think about your sister, go, stay briefly then leave.At least you will have made an appearance.


Invite the sister and her +1. Hopefully, the groom’s family will be gracious enough not to make a scene. If they do, they’ll look like the bad guys, not the sister.


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