Debbie DeAngelo: Practice the pause so you can respond calmly and live with less conflict

Are you in the habit of practicing the pause?

It means to deliberately take a mental step back prior to reacting to a situation. In other words, thinking before speaking or doing.

When confronted with a person or situation that triggers an emotional outburst, practicing the pause allows us to respond from a place of inner calm and control.

It also prevents us from saying or doing something we’ll be ashamed of later.

Shifting from emotional upheaval to mental clarity helps us to detach and choose a more appropriate response. This enables us to leave an interaction feeling in control of ourselves instead of later regretting our behavior.

Of equal importance, it allows us to live with less conflict in our life.

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Begin by observing your reaction to an irritating person or situation. Instead of focusing on what’s happening, transfer your attention to your reaction to it.

How are you feeling? Angry, frustrated, threatened? Figuring this out will allow you to connect the emotion to the reaction and better understand yourself.

Developing the skill of pushing the pause button is derived from practicing it until it becomes second nature. Whenever you experience a knee-jerk reaction, immediately focus on your breathing.

Taking slow deep breaths will initiate changes in the brain that are calming.

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Feeling cornered and put on-the-spot is often a trigger for an emotional explosion.

Keep in mind that, unless you’re on Jeopardy, you don’t have to give a quick response. You can always get back to someone with a well-thought-out reply.

In a society where social media reigns supreme, applying this concept goes a long way toward maintaining peaceful friendships.

Just because you aren’t in agreement with a post, doesn’t mean that you need to reply. Keep scrolling.

Along the same lines, we don’t always have to express our thoughts and opinions. Sometimes it’s wiser, and more harmonious, to refrain.

Debbie DeAngelo, R.N., is certified in women’s health and is a holistic health coach. She can be reached at debbie@healthonheels.com.