Woman calls out ‘daddy privilege’ after husband praised for completing her usual errands

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A woman has called out the phenomenon of “daddy privilege” while revealing her husband was praised as a “hero” for running errands with their six-month-old son.

Chloe Sexton, the owner of BluffCakes bakery in Memphis, Tennessee, who goes by the username @chloebluffcakes on TikTok, discussed the public perception of her husband, and other fathers, in a video shared to the app in October.

In the clip, Sexton, who is holding the couple’s six-month-old son Theodore on her hip, revealed that she often has to bring the baby along as she runs errands for her business.

However, according to Sexton, her husband recently performed the same errands with their baby, only to be praised by strangers.

“So I’ve got a fun little story for you about daddy privilege,” Sexton began the TikTok. “Okay, you all know if you’ve been following me for a while that I’m a business owner, my husband has a job.

“I have a business, my husband has a job. I could not make that any clearer.”

Sexton then explained that her bakery requires her to buy certain wholesale ingredients in bulk at Restaurant Depot every week, with the baker acknowledging that she has posted videos of the trips before, in which she can be seen “wearing” her son or from when she was “massively pregnant” and buying “400lbs of flour and 100lbs of butter”.

“And, like, it’s a weekly thing. The list goes on and on. It’s a lot,” Sexton continued, before recalling how, the week prior, on the day that she usually goes to Restaurant Depot, her husband was off, and so decided to go to the store for her while simultaneously taking care of the couple’s baby.

While Sexton acknowledged that the errand is one she completes on a regular basis, she revealed that her husband was treated like a “hero” when he went to the store with their son.

“When I tell you the way this man was treated like a hero. A HERO,” Sexton said, adding: “Mind you, those same people see me there every single week.”

According to the baker, when she performs the weekly errand, she is typically ignored by the other customers and employees, as she claimed that people think: “Nothing to see here, just a woman doing woman things, busting her a**”.

“But my husband wears the baby and he goes to the Restaurant Depot for mommy’s business and it’s: ‘Oh my god, look at you! Oh my god. You work so hard,’” Sexton continued.

In the video, Sexton then revealed that her husband admitted it was “a little bit embarrassing,” as he told his wife that, at one point, someone walked past him and said: “Oh my god, that’s a whole a** baby.”

“Yeah! It’s his!” Sexton continued while making a disgusted face, before concluding: “He’s not a hero. He’s literally just a father, just a parent, doing the same sh*t I do every week.”

The video, which has since been viewed more than 4m times, has prompted numerous viewers to share their mutual dismay over Sexton’s story.

“The bar is literally on the ground for fathers. It’s sad,” one person commented.

Another said: “Yep. They’re rewarded for the bare minimum [while] we’re ridiculed if we aren’t exceeding expectations.”

“Dads get treated like KINGS for even the bare minimum of fatherhood lol,” someone else wrote. “It is absolute BS how mothers are treated in comparison. The bar is LOW.”

The video also prompted some TikTok users to share their own experiences with “daddy privilege,” with one viewer revealing that she just underwent a C-section but when people call to check-in, they ask if her husband is “sleeping enough”.

“Not me though,” she added.

Another person commented: “I went out of town and my coworker asked me if my husband could manage the kids. Um… yes. They’re HIS kids. She was so impressed.”

Speaking to BuzzFeed about the experience, Sexton, who is also a bonus mother to seven-year-old son Mason, said that, in her opinion, daddy privilege is “that subtle upper hand men side-step into as parents that allows them to gain praise for simply...being a parent. You fed the baby? What a great dad! You held the baby while mommy bathed? So considerate of you! You picked up something for dinner? What would your family do without you?!

“It’s all the little ways mothers do exactly what the world expects of them without a second thought and then watch fathers get praised for simply showing up.”

She also told the outlet that she is “a feminist to my core and will always fight for what is equal and just,” which she noted means “giving EVERY parent the same amount of attention,” and that “every parent deserves to know that they are seen and appreciated”.

While Sexton acknowledged how frustrating it can be to witness daddy privilege, she also said that she is “lucky” to be married to a man who recognised the praise for what it was.

“I’m lucky to have a husband/life partner that is a self-proclaimed feminist and outright said: ‘Honestly the way they treated me was...embarrassing?’ He was in as much shock about how he was treated as I was: TOTALLY NOT SHOCKED,” she said. “Being married to a man who doesn’t need to be taught just how deeply unfair the treatment of men vs women in parenting roles is can be extremely relieving.”

The Independent has contacted Sexton for comment.