Internet Backs Woman Who Won't Befriend Her Neighbor's Mistress

A woman has received online praise after she shared in a now-viral Reddit post that she refuses to befriend her neighbor's mistress.

Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum on Sunday under the username u/Specific_Basis3128, the Redditor explained that one of her neighbors cheated on his wife with his secretary. As a result, the neighbor's wife moved out, and his mistress moved in.

Already, the post has received nearly 10,000 votes and 950 comments.

"I am part of a group of friends in my neighborhood," the Redditor explained. "We take turns hosting dinner parties between our households [5 houses out of 15 in our neighborhood]."

The Redditor added that she and her husband are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, but chose not to invite their neighbor and his mistress because they—and their other neighbors—are friends with his "soon-to-be-ex-wife."

When the Redditor's neighbor told his mistress (now girlfriend) that they weren't invited to the dinner, his girlfriend tried to smooth things over by talking to the Redditor.

"Well, the girlfriend came by to talk to me today," the Redditor wrote. "She approached me right as I was getting home from work so I'm assuming she was waiting for me. She wants to try to mend fences and build friendships with the wives of her boyfriend's friends and neighbors as she's now part of the community."

But the Redditor made it clear that she has no interest in being friends.

"I simply said to her 'I don't want to be friends with a woman that screws around with married men and your boyfriend stopped being my friend when he destroyed his family and broke my friend's heart,'" the Redditor said.

According to her post, half of the Redditor's friends think she was right to tell off the neighbor's mistress, while the other half think she should be given a bit more grace.

Newsweek reached out to u/Specific_Basis3128 for comment.

Unfortunately, infidelity in marriage is rather common.

"Around 15-20 percent of marriages have infidelity," Psychologist Briony Leo told Brides.com. "The Relish Relationship Report that was conducted at the end of 2020 found that around 26 percent of respondents had experienced infidelity in their marriage: 23 percent emotional, 21 percent physical, and 55 percent experiencing both emotional and physical infidelity."

Leo added that 20 percent of men are unfaithful to their spouses compared to 13 percent of women. She also explained that a majority of marriages fall apart once one partner admits to cheating.

"In general, more than half the relationships [55 percent] ended immediately after one partner admits to cheating, with 30 percent deciding to stay together but breaking up eventually, and only 15 percent of couples able to successfully recover from infidelity," Leo said.

Despite some of the Redditor's friends telling her she could have been nicer to her neighbor's mistress, the majority of commenters praised her for defending her friend.

"NTA [not the a**hole]—virtual fist bump," said u/elladee000.

Redditor u/Here_for_tea_ added: "NTA. Actions have consequences. You showed up for your friend and her children, not the people that caused the issue."

"NTA. You have every right not to be friends with the husband and new girlfriend. They made their bed, now they have to lie in it," commented u/eventhorizon130.

"We get to pick our friends, and it's a two-way relationship. And many friendships run their course. This one has. You are under no obligation to maintain a friendship you are no longer interested in, for whatever reason. I'm surprised the man and his mistress didn't consider that living in the neighborhood where he had been previously established with his wife might not be such a good idea," said u/Zorkanian.