FAMILY GUY
“Lois, what’s wrong?”
“All the kids at school said I’m MADtv funny and not SNL funny.”
The irony, of course, is that Meredith and Lois are both voiced by longtime MADtv stars — Nicole Sullivan and Alex Borstein, respectively
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Quotes of the Week: The Flash, DWTS, Yellowstone, 9-1-1, SEAL Team and More
Courtesy of ABC and The CW; Paramount Network screenshot
It’s not time to carve the turkey just yet, but we’re certainly feeling thankful for another jam-packed week of entertaining television.
In our newest Quotes of the Week compilation below, we’ve gathered more than 15 of the small screen’s best sound bites from the past seven days, including scenes both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we’ve got Yellowstone‘s memorable lesson in financial prosperity, an operating room tradition for Grey’s Anatomy‘s Richard, Tim’s newfound knowledge about Gwyneth Paltrow’s career on The Rookie and an Episode 1 monologue on The Sex Lives of College Girls that made quite the first impression.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: a double dose of Insecure, plus quotable moments from The Flash, 9-1-1, A Million Little Things and more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
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Image Credit: Fox screenshot -
GREY'S ANATOMY
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “You’re hoping the stupidity of the human race on a day filled with alcohol and cooking will bring you a good bloody surgery.”
“It’s a tradition, Bailey. I cut on Thanksgiving, just not a turkey.”
Bailey (Chandra Wilson) knows exactly why Richard (James Pickens Jr.) is working on the holiday
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INSECURE
Image Credit: HBO screenshot “The cutoff is 16. Ain’t nobody teaching you spades at your big age.”
Kelli (Natasha Rothwell) bluntly responds when Issa asks to be taught how to play spades, making all of us who don’t know how feel both seen and shamed
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INSECURE (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: HBO screenshot “I tried to get into juicing, but they say you still can’t juice meat.”
An honest but misguided Moe (Ryan Davis) tells Nathan and Johnny about his past dieting attempts
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DOPESICK
Image Credit: Hulu screenshot “That’s wonderful that you know other nuns. It makes me feel a closeness to you I have never before experienced.”
A very sarcastic Sister Beth (Meagen Fay), after a Purdue Pharma exec attempts to casually (and awkwardly) mention the name of another nun he met
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GHOSTS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “This… is the war?”
“I’m a pacifist, but even I would like to see a little more action.”
As Sam (Rose McIver) and Flower (Sheila Carrasco) see it, Isaac’s shoving match with Nigel will not be one for the history books
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THE FLASH
Image Credit: The CW screenshot “Now I know how Diggle feels.”
Barry (Grant Gustin) did NOT enjoy getting small with Ray/The Atom
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9-1-1
Image Credit: Fox screenshot “So, now I’m going to have three dads? … Father’s Day is gonna suck.”
Harry (Marcanthonee Reis) had the best reaction when Michael announced that he was proposing to David
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YELLOWSTONE
Image Credit: Paramount Network screenshot (2) “Do you want nice things? You want the best? There is only four ways to get rich, kid. Four — that’s it. One: Inherit it. That ain’t happening for you. Two: Ya steal it. You do not have, my friend, the patience, the power or, quite honestly, the intellect to steal anything of substance and keep it. So three: Work really, really f—king hard. OK? You’ll learn. You fail. Learn more, fail more, and don’t let anyone outwork you — ever.”
“What’s option four?”
“Learn how to suck a d—k like you lost your car keys in it.”
“Is that how you got rich?”
Carter (Finn Little) somehow manages to get in the last word on Beth (Kelly Reilly)
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DANCING WITH THE STARS
Image Credit: ABC screenshot (2) “Our bodies are so similar. I’ve got a few more tattoos, but actually very similar!”
Who knew Len Goodman and Iman Shumpert had such comparable physiques?
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THE WALKING DEAD: WORLD BEYOND
Image Credit: AMC screenshot “It’s kinda like living in a junkyard.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
The way Silas (Hal Cumpston) describes the cull facility sounds pretty good to onetime “trash lady” Jadis (Pollyanna McIntosh)
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CALL THE MIDWIFE
Image Credit: PBS screenshot “Love is a very hard thing to get rid of, or hand back, once it starts to flow.”
A reassuring Nurse Phyllis (Linda Bassett), regarding Blanche’s choice to keep her son Robert, who was diagnosed with Down syndrome
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B POSITIVE
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Oh, this is ridiculous. Who makes French toast with rye bread?”
Norma (Linda Lavin) reaches her breaking point with Chef Bert (while we got queasy just thinking about the combo)
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THE ROOKIE
Image Credit: ABC screenshot (2) “We’re a small operation, but we’re growing. I’m hoping to get a write-up in goop.”
“I… I don’t know what that is.”
“I’ll explain later.”
Lucy (Melissa O’Neil) promises to update Tim (Eric Winter) on all things Paltrow
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SEAL TEAM
Image Credit: Paramount+ screenshot “We just leave everything…? Haven’t fixed a bridge at home in 50 years, but at least our tax dollars armed up these Cheeto d—ks.”
Clay (Max Thieriot) can’t believe how much U.S. troops left behind in Afghanistan for the Taliban
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THE SEX LIVES OF COLLEGE GIRLS (Episode 1)
Image Credit: HBO Max screenshot “You’re some a—hole from that town where they shot Big Little Lies or some s—t, and you wear $100 f—king jeans.”
“That’s not a lot of money for jeans.”
“Shut the f—k up! Not everyone on this campus has money. Some of us have to work these jobs because, even if we didn’t know it until we got here, we’re kind of poor. So yeah, maybe I don’t have the newest iPhone, and maybe I don’t know what couscous is, but I’m still a f—king person, and so is he! So treat us like we f—king matter, OK?!”
“OK, fine. I’m sorry.”
“And no pants should cost more than $40!”
Kimberly (Pauline Chalamet) goes off on a rude student/customer who dumps his trash on the floor in front of her coworker Canaan
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A MILLION LITTLE THINGS
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “It is hilarious that Maggie is sleeping with literally the only man on the planet that you also would like to sleep with.”
“Well, he is very good with a stick.”
Rome (Romany Malco) and Eddie (David Giuntoli) make fun of Gary about Maggie’s hockey pro boyfriend
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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot “Being red-flagged at Louis Vuitton would be far worse than the Feds knocking at my door.”
We’d like to believe that Lisa Barlow is kidding around here, but we know her better than that
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Actually, French toast with rye bread is delicious.
Blech. I hate rye except maybe on a really juicy Reuben sandwich.
I liked this quote from The Flash. But, I thought it was pretty funny when Iris looked down, as if at a watch as she said something about the time or being late, and then mumbled that it was a bracelet. I was hoping that one would end up on this list!
I did really love the one from AMLT!
Thanks for the Call the Midwife love
i also love the fact that whenever brandon routh is involved in crossovers they always seem to get that other superhero he one played in as you had ray palmer, undoing his suit just like oh the big blue boy scout and then they also had the line about kryptonite