Opinion: Losing loved ones never gets easier, parents should prepare children to deal with death

Death is scary, and to a 12-year-old, it seems like the end of the world.

Ten years ago today, my grandmother died, and I remember that day like the back of my hand.

Although I knew she was no longer with us, not knowing how her death happened still impacts me to this day.

The day my grandma died, I woke up like any other day and rushed out of the house without saying goodbye to my favorite person in the world. I usually wouldn’t leave without a goodbye, but I couldn’t afford another tardy slip that year.

Parents should talk to their children, whether young or teenagers, about death. Death is more common than we like to think, and preparing your children for the scenario will help in the long run, even if it’s an uncomfortable conversation.

According to the JAG Institute, about 5.3 million children will experience the death of a sibling or parent by the age of 18. The number doubles to about 13.3 million by the age of 25.

When my grandma returned home from the hospital in August 2011, I thought she was better. I don’t think I realized that wasn’t why she came home.

She died two months later. There was no improvement in her sickness to be made.

My mom picked me up from the bus on Oct. 26, 2011, but she was in a rush and my older sister was crying in the back seat.

All I wondered was: ‘Why is my sister crying?’

We arrived at my grandma’s house, and before we got out of the car, I saw an ambulance and a police car. I knew the news although nobody told me what happened.

My grandma died.

My favorite person in the world died.

I like to think that I was the closest to her out of her grandchildren and slightly the favorite. I was the youngest, which might be why her death hurt so much.

The days that followed are a blur, but I know I didn’t really talk about her death. I didn’t know why she died until years later. I only found out when an older cousin told me in high school: brain cancer.

I still don’t fully understand it.

Now whenever anyone mentions someone’s death, I do not know how to comfort them or how to continue the conversation. When my grandma is brought up, I freeze and lose focus.

I do not know how to cope with her death, but it’s a daily challenge. Grief doesn’t just end one day. It only gets less hard as the days go by.

I know my grandma hasn’t been here for some of my greatest achievements, but she’ll always be carried in my heart.

Please talk to your children about death so they know how to cope as they grow up. It’s not easy, but they need to know.

If I had talked about it more, I believe I would have processed her death differently.

Ten years later, I’m still processing it.

@Angie_Perez99

opinion-editor.shorthorn@uta.edu