Michael Arace: Not enough dudes have tripped over the ball to give Crew a playoff chance
In the 29th minute of the 29th game of the season there came a sign.
The Crew have been good, bad and ugly in varying measures this season. They’ve also been dogged by caprice and misfortune. And then, out of the nowhere, the soccer gods kissed them flush on the lips.
This smack of good luck came on Saturday, Oct. 14, just over a week ago, in a game against Inter Miami in the new Crew Stadium. In the 29th minute of the 29th game, as it were.
Crew defender Vito Wormgoor made a soft back-pass — we're talking U-10, rec-league soft — and basically sprang Miami attacker Robbie Robinson on a naked breakaway. It was one of three or four “once-a-year" type of defensive gaffes the Crew have committed during this star-crossed season.
But wait! As Robinson dribbled into the penalty box to tee up the inevitable goal, he fell down. He was in the process of lining up one of the surest goals of the season, about to give Miami a 1-0 lead — and he tripped over the ball, U-10 rec-league style.
The Crew went on to a 4-0 romp in what may have been their best performance of the year. Fullback Milton Valenzuela, who came back from reconstructive knee surgery only to wreck a hamstring, was finally back in 2018 form. Pedro Santos returned to the wing and had a goal and two assists. Gyasi Zardes had two goals. Attacking midfielder Lucas Zelarayan, the maestro, had some breathing room. Caleb Porter won the 100th game of his career.
This team that won the 2020 MLS Cup once again made sense. It looked like it was capable of clawing its way into the playoffs. It looked like it would have a chance to defend its title — and its defense might just be staunch.
I circled that play in my notebook: “Dude trips over ball, falls down, blows no-brainer goal, 29th minute.” Next to it, I scribbled: “Here’s where their season finally pivoted?”
The soccer gods, they will mess with your head, not to mention your notebook.
Generally speaking, the Crew have a record of doing good work as summer turns into autumn.
Former coach Gregg Berhalter’s teams tended to rise down the stretch. The 2015 Crew won nine of their last 15 games, took the momentum into the playoffs and made it all the way to the MLS Cup final. (Porter’s Portland Timbers prevailed in the title game.) Berhalter’s 2017 team is beloved for closing with a nine-game unbeaten streak and, amid the Dementors' siege that was met by Save the Crew, advancing to the conference final. (Tim Bezbatchenko’s Toronto team freight-trained its way through Columbus and onto the Cup.)
Porter’s Portland teams were also good stretch runners, by and large, and his previous two Crew teams have not unraveled. Last year, amid a strange and disjointed season of COVID, the Crew played better than everyone when it counted — in the playoffs. It was a remarkable run and, as the company line had it, it was just a warmup to 2021 and the opening of the new stadium.
Porter’s career has a curious wrinkle down the middle. He has never made the playoffs two years in a row. He has won MLS Cups with two teams — which makes for a glut of competitions and a harrowing schedule in the aftermath — but it’s still an odd quirk in his CV.
Coming off a soaring victory over Miami, the Crew went to Nashville, blew a late-game lead (in a span of two minutes) and swallowed a one-point draw Wednesday. Porter was in quarantine and not on the sideline. Zardes injured his knee. Two points slipped through their grasp.
Three days later, they came out flat and lost 2-1 — at home, every point is critical — to the New York Red Bulls, a team they are trying to track down. Was that a death knell ringing across the Olentangy?
Heading into a game against Orlando on Wednesday, the Crew (10-13-8) are in 11th place in the East and five points out of a playoff spot with four teams to jump. Gong.
The sixth- and seventh-place teams, Red Bulls (red-hot) and Atlanta, each have four remaining games and 12 available points. Atlanta has home games against Miami and Toronto and road games at NYCFC and FC Cincinnati. How many points you give Atlanta? Nine or 10?
While only one team (mighty New England) has so far clinched in the East, the playoff field might be set right now. The order may change, but the seven teams are not likely to change.
How many more opponents will trip over the ball? Not enough.