Lucas: What if Biden and the far-left let cartels solve the border crisis?

The next thing you know President Biden will withdraw troops from the Mexican border.

But not to worry. That is because no Texan will be stranded after he orders the border agents and the Texas National Guard to vacate the border to let the Mexican cartels take over.

Buses and planes will be available to take the displaced Texans to new locations inland.

In making the announcement that he is bowing to the cartels by evacuating the southern border, Biden will say Afghanistan-like, “We will not leave until every Texan along the border who wants to leave is allowed to leave. No Texan will be left behind. No one will be abandoned.”

The move is being made in the name of justice and equity. Its goal, according to my non-existent Washington sources, is to right a wrong by giving a portion of Texas back to Mexico and to the swarms of illegal immigrants who have invaded the country.

My imaginary White House sources said that Biden and his progressive advisers believe that the land belongs to Mexico in the first place, which grabbed the land from Spain in 1821. Spain earlier had stolen the land from the Indigenous People who lived there, mainly Apache and Comanche Indians.

And just because Texas wrested the land away from Mexico in 1836 when Texans won their War of Independence against Mexico, is no reason why the U.S. should hold on to the land in perpetuity.

And since there are not too many Apache or Comanches around anymore — at least any with a title to the land — Bidens’ progressive believe it is only fair to give the land, or at least some of it, back to the Mexicans. Fair is only fair.

This is not to be confused with the U.S. takeover from Mexico of California, Nevada, Utah, half of Arizona and New Mexico as well as portions of Colorado and Wyoming following the Mexican American War of 1848.

Sources say that Biden made his decision following a late-night basement meeting in his Wilmington, Delaware, home with Socialist Sens. Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, a former Cherokee. Sanders brought with him a banjo band from Montpellier.

Biden was so moved by the band’s version of Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land,” that he not only signed off on the idea but joined in the singing.

Biden reportedly said, “Every illegal immigrant should hear these lyrics. Then he, Bernie and Warren sang: “This land is your land and this land is my land, From California to the New York Island, From the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters, This land was made for me and you.”

Cargo planes and helicopters are already on standby at hardest-hit communities along the border like Roma and McAllen to whisk Texans to safely to new locations in Chicago and the Bronx now that the region has been overrun.

Biden made his decision to abandon the border despite advice from military advisers that he leave a small force of border agents on horseback at the Rio Grande to monitor advances made by the well-armed Mexican drug and human smuggling cartels.

Gen. Mark Milley, the woke bloke who is chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said that Biden told him that “CNN said that guys on horseback are bad optics.”

“The cartels are taunting us. They’ve even taken shots at our people with the AK-47’s that we sold them,” Miley reportedly told writer Bob Woodward for his book. “The president said, ‘Sticks and stone will break our bones but names, or bad shooting, will never harm us.’ Then he began humming ‘This land is your land.’”

Non-existent White House sources said that Biden wanted to build on his triumphal withdrawal out of Afghanistan, especially on the evacuation of the Kabul airport, even though 13 young soldiers were needlessly killed along with a hundred innocent Afghans in the process.

This does not include the 10 innocent Afghans, including seven children, mistaken for ISIS terrorists, who were killed by a U.S. drone strike in a pathetic military.

Biden knows that any half-baked general can carry out an attack. But it takes a special experienced and wise president to know how to conduct a retreat.

“Joe Biden is turning withdrawal and retreat into an art form,” an admiring imaginary source said. “Get used to it.”

Peter Lucas is a veteran Massachusetts political reporter and columnist.