How will we support our youngest victims of COVID?

It’s one of the true costs of the COVID-19 pandemic.

While we tend to focus on metrics such as hospitalizations and deaths, the ripple effects of this pandemic are now starting to come into view. It’s our children who are some of the worst victims.

Just this month, a study in the medical journal Pediatrics found roughly 140,000 children have lost a parent, grandparent or other primary caregiver to the pandemic.

The study also found there are clear racial disparities when it comes to COVID deaths. Numbers show that just one out of every 753 white children lost a parent to the virus. Meanwhile, one out of 412 Hispanic children and one out of 310 Black children lost a parent.

And there’s a good chance it is even worse than it appears. The number of children who lost a parent or caregiver are likely underestimated since the data used for the study come from the period of April 2020 to June 2021, a time just before the delta variant became the dominant strain here in the U.S.

We debate mask usage. We argue about vaccine mandates. We blame one another and point fingers at who is responsible for letting this virus run rampant across this country. But how are we going to collectively come together to support these most vulnerable of victims?

I know what it’s like to raise a child who has experienced loss. My son lost his father when he was just 9. And as a solo parent, I can tell you that the emotional toll a child feels when they lose a parent is ongoing. They are permanently changed.

Loss of a parent is among the adverse childhood experiences, known as ACEs, linked to mental health problems, lower self-esteem, sexual risk behaviors, issues in school and an increased risk of substance abuse, violence, suicide and sexual abuse.

It also disrupts a child’s entire foundation, including their sense of safety and security. Often, it leads to secondary losses, such as having to move, live with another parent or relative or transfer to a new school. It can mean a big change in the family’s financial stability. If the child’s parents were together or shared a strong relationship at the time of death, the child will have to watch the parent left behind grieve deeply, which often impacts a parent’s ability to be there for their own grieving children.

As someone who knows loss, I’ll tell you that you don’t “get through it.” You don’t “move on.” These children will carry this load every minute of every day for the rest of their lives. You can’t win at the game of grief.

Even when this pandemic comes to an end — whenever that is — we will feel the long-term impact for generations to come. We’ll need to address the loss these children have experienced and will continue to experience. It’s a sad reality of our post-pandemic future.

Right now, 140,000 children here in the U.S. feel like their entire world has been blown to pieces. It’s our job to not only acknowledge their loss, but to provide the support and tools necessary for them to move forward with it.

Rachel Brougham is a former assistant editor of the Petoskey News-Review. You can email her at racheldbrougham@gmail.com.