The Truth About John David And Abbie Duggar's Marriage

We first met John David Duggar as a perfectly coiffed, polo-wearing 13-year-old on the 2004 TV special "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" Unlike their younger siblings, John David and his twin sister, Jana Duggar, didn't jump right on the marriage train as soon as they reached adulthood — as of this writing, Jana is in her thirties and is still the oldest unmarried Duggar sibling. Instead, the twins lived the single life for much of their twenties.

John David was 28 when he began courting Abbie Burnett of Ada, Oklahoma, and they were wed before he celebrated his 29th birthday. While that may seem like a perfectly normal age to meet your future wife, it's nearly ancient by Duggar standards — John David's extended singledom even had him joking about being a "bachelor 'till the rapture," per TLC. Fans rejoiced when he announced his courtship to the down-to-earth nurse from Oklahoma, and their relationship has quickly become a favorite topic of discussion among members of the DuggarsSnark subreddit and other forums. But TV doesn't always tell the whole story; when the cameras are off, what are Abbie and John David really like?

If you followed John David Duggar's journey to the altar, perhaps you got the impression that although he took courtship seriously, he wasn't interested in doing it forever. He made it pretty clear to Abbie Burnett that he wanted to skip straight to kissing the bride rather than drag their minimal-touching courtship on for too much longer than it takes to throw on a white dress and say "I do." Mere weeks after his courtship announcement, John David got down on one knee inside an airplane hangar — a spot fitting for a man obsessed with his aircraft — and asked Abbie to marry him.

Although the two concepts may look similar to viewers of "Counting On," John David and Abbie maintain that engagement is very different from courtship. John David explained in a TLC video (via People), "A courtship is more of a I'm getting to know this person with the idea of the possibility of marriage," whereas an engagement is "actually that commitment towards marriage." For most Duggars, courting and getting engaged have the same end result. However, in a rare move, Josiah Duggar and Marjorie Jackson broke off their courtship in 2015 before he popped the question, per People.

Both John David and Abbie Duggar were raised in large evangelical Christian families organized along strict traditional gender lines. We didn't watch Abbie and her siblings grow up on television like the Duggars did, but the now-defunct family blog 10Burnetts gives us a pretty good idea of the kind of upbringing Abbie had. According to the blog, she and her seven siblings were homeschooled, so her mother seemingly eschewed prospects of a career outside of the home to work as a full-time housewife, just like Michelle Duggar.

While Abbie doesn't appear to be working outside of the home as of this writing, she has something most of the other Duggar women don't — a degree. A diploma certainly isn't necessary to prove intelligence, but Abbie's nursing degree from Pontotoc Technology Center (per The Ada News) does open up a lot of doors outside of the traditional housewife path her mother and mother-in-law have chosen. She's even entertained the notion of someday returning to work — in 2019, she told Us Weekly that she plans to keep her nursing license and that she and John David have "talked about looking at some options of [Abbie] getting a job." It's far from a clear answer, but it's also a far cry from saying that she wants to be a housewife forever.  

The Duggars have gained fame — or infamy, depending on who you ask — for their enormous family. For matriarch Michelle Duggar, having children isn't just a hobby — it's a mandate. She and Jim Bob Duggar are followers of the Quiverfull movement, an evangelical Christian crusade popularized by churches such as the Institute for Basic Life Principles (IBLP), an institute with which both the Duggar and Burnett families are involved. A 2013 schedule for an IBLP event even listed Abbie Burnett as a musical performer. 

When you get down to it, the goal of the Quiverfull movement is for its adherents to out-populate those who don't share their religious views by having as many children as possible, per Patheos. Many of these fundamentalist evangelical Christian families — including the TV-famous Duggars and Bateses — try as hard as possible to gain a platform or following outside of their immediate social circle in order to evangelize to others. As a result, blogs like 10Burnetts, which portrays the everyday antics of Abbie's family and features several posts by Abbie herself, are a dime a dozen. While Abbie didn't grow up in front of TLC's ever-present cameras, she was likely raised with an understanding that publicity isn't just the goal — it's the expectation.

Like many supersized families, the Duggars use just about every frugality measure in the book. For them, cutting costs means cutting hair — trips to the salon add up when you multiply the cost by 19! In earlier specials, we even saw the girls perfecting their at-home perms, which made us exceedingly grateful that televisions can't transmit smells. While newer seasons of "Counting On" show the Duggar women getting their hair cut by professionals — Jinger even appears to be a regular visitor to the salon – the men still seem to think that the at-home choir boy haircuts they've had for the past twenty years work just fine.

Apparently, Abbie Duggar's childhood chores didn't include playing cosmetologist like the rest of the Duggar women. In the early days of her marriage, Abbie shared a photo on Instagram of her first attempt at cutting John David's hair while one of her sisters-in-law, Jessa Seewald (née Duggar), looked on with a face of either disapproval or indigestion. If we say so ourselves, the cut turned out quite nicely — however, with the direction John David's hairline is going, Abbie may not have to worry about this particular duty too much longer.

According to Duggar Data, John David and Abbie Duggar live in a single-wide trailer parked on land owned by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar in Springdale, Arkansas. It's not clear exactly how much John David and Abbie are worth, but Celebrity Net Worth puts the number around $500,000. Even if their real worth is much lower than that, the couple has several sources of income, including proceeds from "Counting On" and John David's towing company, per "A Love That Multiplies," and they appear to be doing just fine.

No word on why the couple chooses to stay in the trailer, but it's a stark difference from the living situations of some of the other Duggar children. Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard, for example, own a four-bedroom Arkansas home, according to the Dillard Family Blog. And although they aren't homeowners, Jinger Duggar and Jeremy Vuolo live in a Los Angeles residence worth around $700,000, per Radar. Perhaps Abbie and John David will move to a larger — and less mobile — place down the road, but it seems like they're perfectly happy in their single-wide as of this writing.

Unlike some of the other Duggar couples, Abbie and John David Duggar don't appear to be too concerned with their social media stats. In fact, John David didn't even have a public Instagram page before he began courting his future wife, per Romper. His first was a joint account with Abbie, and it isn't an endless barrage of baby pics and lasagna recipes. Instead, the couple shares just a few pics a month of their extended family, air shows, and their daughter, Grace Duggar.

Compare that to the accounts of, say, Jessa Seewald (née Duggar) or Jinger Vuolo (née Duggar), who appear to have fully launched themselves into the influencer lifestyle, complete with promotional posts for smart vacuums and children's clothing. Abbie's frequent posts — 56 of them, to be exact — on her family's defunct 10Burnetts blog shows us she's not afraid of sharing her life with the world. So by eschewing social media, she and John David appear to be making a conscious effort to minimize their exposure to the public eye. Can't say we blame them — for a couple of shy homebodies, the constant expectation to share intimate details with the camera was probably more than enough.

Despite their upbringing, Abbie and John David Duggar appear to be taking a less conservative approach to religion than Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. For example, Abbie went to school to get a nursing degree and worked outside of the home before she was married — something that the IBLP discourages. Abbie also frequently wears pants (a Michelle Duggar fashion don't), as evidenced by several Instagram posts. And unlike some of the other Duggar siblings, Abbie and John David don't seem to be in a rush to grow their little family.

The couple has remained mostly silent amidst the news of TLC's cancellation of "Counting On," and they left on a family trip to an air show shortly after the news broke. Perhaps they're relieved that the cameras will no longer be on them — while it doesn't seem like they're headed for a full-on rebellion against the IBLP, Abbie and John David appear to have a desire to negotiate their own relationship with their Christian faith. So as Grace Duggar grows up, fans will be watching to see just how much her upbringing differs from her parents'.