Career Satisfaction Matters for Motherhood Well-Being

Work and career satisfaction is very essential to one’s wellness during motherhood. I noticed this during my maternity leave with my first child. Usually, when going on maternity leave, I take the time to realize how important it is to feel good about the work that I produce. Recently, I have resumed my job after taking a significant amount of time off to nurture my second child. As I reminisce on my first stint with maternity leave, I wish to impart some wisdom to other mothers who may not understand how significant career satisfaction and wellness will be for them.

The “good mother” indicator

I had my first experience with motherhood and subsequently maternity leave in 2019. As mothers, we are taught that an indicator of being a “good mother” is a desire never to leave your child. As such, I took on the role in the same way my mother and her mother had done. During this time, I genuinely enjoyed being with my child, another indicator that I was succeeding at motherhood.

However, it only took a few long weeks of being on maternity leave for me to see that while I loved my child dearly and was so grateful to become a mother, my child was not and likely would never be my one and only love, priority, or passion. I came to terms with the fact that it was challenging for me to be away from work. As much as I enjoyed being with my son, getting to know him, observing him, and enjoying the process of becoming a new mother, I had to accept the fact that something big was missing from my life’s newest chapter.

If this resonates with you, then this article will help you understand that it is OK for you to feel as if you’re longing for the other parts of you that might not be centered or prioritized when you have a baby.

“Being a mother is only one part of me....”

Growing into my own motherhood, I’ve learned to accept that being a mother is only one part of my identity. Another important part of me is the career woman who built a platform from doing what she loves. Motherhood helped me realize that there are many factors of my identity that make me the woman that I am today.

This is the case for every mother; however, many of us are taught to believe that motherhood is now the only role we can perform. The encompassing nature of motherhood can cause us to become disconnected from our other roles, identities, or parts of ourselves. This can often lead to postpartum depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, and prolonged maternal stress. Satisfaction outside of our experiences of motherhood is imperative, and career wellness is one way to achieve this.

As I’ve mentioned, when I was on maternity leave, a part of me felt incomplete. I would feel guilty for wanting to go back to work even though I knew it was not due to a lack of closeness with my newborn. I was craving the enjoyment I get from my career. I love being a psychologist and the work that I do. Realizing this made me aware that in neglecting my work, I was also neglecting a part of myself. After this revelation, I came to terms that there was no need to feel guilty and that each part of my identity as a mother, wife, and career woman deserved to be nurtured.

If you are reading this because you are on your maternity leave and you are afraid of losing that part of yourself, remember to acknowledge the parts of you that thrived before you became a mother. These parts deserve to be catered to equally as much as the part of you that is now a mother.

Evaluating your work and career satisfaction

When discussing wellness in your career, you must evaluate which of your needs must be met in order to find satisfaction in the work you do. Sometimes our work doesn’t always allow us to be physically present with our families. In extreme cases, it can even force a person to be emotionally and mentally absent as well. In any case, it is important to enjoy and appreciate what you do for work since it consumes a large portion of your life. To add on, our work personas are another part of our identity that needs nurturing, attention, and intention. Knowing this can explain why feeling satisfied with the work that you are doing is so important.

In my work with millennial mothers, I’ve had many choose to work on their career satisfaction after taking our motherhood wellness assessment. Through our assessment, they realized that their career life led to a lot of stress and tension in their daily life. Like many, they felt unappreciated at work and desperately wanted to make a change. When they started to pinpoint which needs were not being met and what would make them feel more satisfied, they began to take more risks in terms of meeting their goals at work.

As an exercise, I would like you to use the following questions to reflect and gain a better understanding of how you’re feeling about your work and career.

Work and career satisfaction self-check

1. How do you feel when you are working?
2. How much stress do you feel is connected to your work?
3. Have you had dreams of having another career, going back to school, or even starting your own business?
4. Is anxiety holding you back from moving forward in your career?
5. Is guilt present as you pursue your work and career passions?
6. When and how has fear kept you stuck in a career that no longer serves you well?
7. Do you believe you are on track to achieve the work and career you’ve always wanted?
8. Are there boundaries present in your work and career?
9. Do you feel you have a good work-life balance?

It is important to ask yourself these questions to understand what has held you back in your career and how you can overcome this obstacle. So many women have been held back by their fear, anxiety, and guilt about how the pursuit of their career wellness may disrupt their families. However, it is imperative to listen to the part of you that wants to improve your work wellness. Again, it may be frightening to prioritize regaining that part of yourself, but when you are in the process of working towards something that feels good for you, it is going to be well worth it.

Reflection

I asked the moms in our Balanced Working Mama Community what has stopped them from pursuing their dream jobs. One had a lot of anxiety because she was the breadwinner in her home. She feared that shifting her career meant that finances wouldn’t be stable for a while. After making the decision to pursue this new journey, she talked to her partner about it, and they made it work.

Another openly expressed that guilt was holding her back. She explained that she wasn’t sure how this transition would impact her children. I reminded her that kids are so resilient in the way they can adapt to change. In an effort to ensure their comfortability, we often underestimate their ability to handle variation. This encouraged her to move forward with her plan. Afterward, she boasted that this was much better for her and her family.

Think about those questions carefully. When you begin to notice that you are not satisfied with your career, then you can make choices to better your situation. Remember that you deserve to feel satisfied, appreciated, and intellectually stimulated in the work that you do. Just because we decide to become mothers does not mean that the other facets of our identity disappear. They are still there and waiting for us.

I hope that this encourages you to think about your work and career satisfaction.