Ex-NFL player Ryan O'Callaghan, who is openly gay, on Jon Gruden: 'It's never OK' to use homophobic slurs

Former NFL offensive lineman Ryan O'Callaghan condemned the homophobic language used by former Las Vegas Raiders coach Jon Gruden and said he believes it was right for him to step down due to the emotional harm caused. 

But O'Callaghan, who came out as gay in 2017 after a six-year career with the Kansas City Chiefs and New England Patriots, said he's waiting to pass judgment until he hears more from Gruden, because times have changed over the last decade when it comes to LGBTQ inclusion in the sports world. 

"It doesn't matter when he said the f-word or used (homophobic) slurs, it's never OK," O'Callaghan told USA TODAY Sports. "My hope is that he's educated himself since then to know better. But part of it isn't surprising. I used to hear 'no homo' type comments in the NFL and slurs in locker rooms growing up. If we dug through other (coaches') trash, it'd be interesting to see what we'd find." 

Gruden resigned late Monday night as head coach of the Raiders amid reports that he repeatedly used homophobic and misogynistic language in a series of emails over a period of seven years – between 2011 and 2018. 

"The more I read about it, it was right for him to step down," O'Callaghan said. "I would still like to hear what he has to say about it and if he's learned and grown since he said those awful things." 

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According to the emails, first unveiled by The New York Times, Gruden used a homophobic slur to describe NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, denigrated the then-St. Louis Rams' decision to draft Michael Sam, who is openly gay, and mocked transgender woman Caitlyn Jenner, among other racist and sexists comments.

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"When you hear something like that, it makes you look at someone differently," O'Callaghan said. "If you're gay and closeted like I was, you question yourself and if you feel safe. You're not going to feel good about yourself or them."

One of Gruden's players in Las Vegas, defensive lineman Carl Nassib, came out as gay earlier this year as the only publicly out player in the league.

"In my experience, all it takes is knowing one gay person to change how you feel about the matter because then the issue is humanized. People do grow, I believe that," O'Callaghan said. "And look at Carl, he's killing it. Would (Gruden) use the same homophobic language knowing about Carl now? Maybe it's changed his impression of gay people through Carl."

Timing wise, O'Callaghan said he's glad that Nassib came out before Gruden's emails were surfaced. But it's a clearexample of the fears and homophobic culture that can exist in sports from top-level people who have power and are in charge. 

"Gruden is an older guy, and a lot of homophobia is generational – it's coming from people's parents' impressions," O'Callaghan said. "The more you humanize, the less homophobia there is. But the more homophobia is happening behind closed doors, then the fear for someone to come out is going to stay." 

Gruden, who spent more than a decade as the head coach of the Raiders and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, was having casual exchanges on his personal email with Bruce Allen, who was a high-ranking executive on three teams, including Washington. 

Rich Ferraro, GLAAD’s Chief Communications Officer, issued a statement on Gruden's departure from the Raiders. 

“Even as the first out gay player is competing on the Raiders and receiving widespread support from fans and teammates, accountability is necessary to ensure that all athletes can compete without discrimination and harassment," Ferraro said. "Gruden’s anti-LGBTQ and misogynistic emails, which went unchecked for years, are a disturbing reminder of the work that still needs to be done to improve inclusion and acceptance in sports at all levels.”