— Living With Uncertainty
Living With Uncertainty: Understandably — this is just objectively really hard. Especially when the light we thought we saw this summer was just the tunnel at the end of the tunnel.
But it isn’t “never-ending,” and it’s not a “bad dream.” It’s real and it’s now and it’s what we have to work with.
I hope this won’t come across as too dark, but I want to address the “so many people are struggling” aspect. It’s true, yes, and upsetting, and so many more people need help again or still. There’s also the inescapable fact, though, that there are always people struggling, and always will be.
Our obligation to one another is to be mindful of others’ situations and to do what we can to alleviate suffering. That can include anything from direct care of a sick relative to voting for someone you believe governs toward the greater good. It can mean educating your kids to be good citizens, it can mean stocking a food bank, it can mean composting, it can mean adjusting just about any part of your life for the better.
It can also drive you out of your mind if you allow these thoughts to occupy your mind throughout your waking hours. There has to be a balance between heavy thinking, generous doing, and simply living.
It sounds as if your sense of duty and goodness is colliding with pandemic reality and your peace of mind is the collateral damage.
If you feel the sadness is just bearing down on you no matter what you do, then I urge you to call your regular doctor for an evaluation, in case you have clinical-level depression or anxiety.
Otherwise, please allow yourself to see the larger scope of history and understand that hard times are part of the larger human experience, wars and pandemics included. Then, bring yourself back to daily scale and ask yourself whether there’s anything else you could reasonably do to help yourself and others — to satisfy the sense of goodness and obligation you feel.
If so, then add that in — and make room as needed by taking away something that hasn’t worked for you.
If not, then see whether there’s something you can do to feel better. This can be internal (entertainment) or external (generosity) or physical (exercise, dance) or whatever. The only thing it needs to be is life-affirming. It’s okay — and arguably a debt we owe ourselves and others — to make the best of what’s available to us. A little bit each day to refresh us enough to keep working toward the greater good. Because remember, this pandemic is terrible because it’s life threatening, which is a sort of twisted advertisement for how great life really is.
