On Sunday, beloved boy king Timothée Chalamet took to Instagram to share a first look at himself as Willy Wonka in a new origin-story film, arriving from Warner Bros and the Roald Dahl Story Co. in 2023. Predictably, Twitter was quick to alternately praise and excoriate the image:
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Despite being a creature of social-media habit, I diverged somewhat from the takes I saw on Twitter, experiencing emotions about the casting choice that surprised even me. Below, find all the thoughts I had about Chalamet-as-Wonka:
- NO.
- Wait, on second thought… maybe yes?
- Okay, I’ve come around. I’m into this.
- I know everyone on Twitter is saying that Willy Wonka shouldn’t be hot, but... are we just going to ignore the fact that Willy Wonka has always, canonically, been hot? Am I the only one here who is attracted to Gene Wilder?
- Seriously, even if I am alone in my Wilder lust, are we all forgetting that the last person to play Wonka was Johnny Depp?
- While we’re on the topic, why does everything need an origin story?
- Would I make crazy Hollywood cash for a prequel about, like, American gymnast Mary Lou Retton before she went to the 1984 Summer Olympics?
- Wait, is that a good idea? Am I in the wrong industry?
- I know I mention this every chance I get, but never forget that Chalamet’s middle name is Hal.
- Hal! I can’t get over it.
- Okay, back to this legendary image.
- My god, the young man’s cheekbones could cut glass.
- I very badly want to fix Chalamet a chicken dinner. Not because he doesn’t look great, simply because I think it would be fun.
- What do we think Chalamet would bring to a dinner party as a hostess gift? Emeralds? Rubies? Signed screenplays?
- To be honest, I’m struggling to remember anything about the character of Willy Wonka other than the fact that he’s a capricious, rich weirdo who likes capers (as in japes, not the bagel garnish). I think Chalamet is more than capable of pulling that off!
- I do have problems with the ’fit, though. Abraham Lincoln called, and even he does not want that hat back.
- I do like the little scarf!
- Remember the early aughts, when we all paired tiny, non-warmth-providing scarves with everything? Good times.
- When does this movie come out?
- Okay, I Googled; not until March of 2023. Damn.
- OMG, Olivia Colman is in it too? Done, finished, tickets purchased.
- Keegan-Michael Key, too? Hell, yeah!
- Let’s hope Hal Chal just keeps dropping more and more Wonka style pics on social media until 2023.
