THE WALKING DEAD
“It’s not gonna fit ya perfectly. It was someone else’s face.”
Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) reminds a frustrated Maggie that a walker mask is not a pair of hiking boots
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Quotes of the Week: The Morning Show, Big Sky, Ghosts, What If…? and More
Courtesy of NBC; AMC; Apple TV+
How can you tell the fall TV season is in full swing? Look no further than our latest Quotes of the Week compilation, which features a full 30 (!) sound bites from the past seven days of television.
In the list below, we’re looking back on the week’s most memorable dialogue, including scenes both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we’ve got Helen’s realization that Max is a complete slob on New Amsterdam, The Morning Show‘s delightfully meta nod to its own streaming home, some brutally honest wardrobe guidance for Big Sky‘s Donno and a new accessory of which The Good Doctor‘s Jordan is extremely fond.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Billions‘ season finale (which cast member is out?), Ted Lasso‘s season finale (read post mortem), The Neighborhood and The Conners, plus quotable moments from The Voice, Only Murders in the Building, A Million Little Things and many more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
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Image Credit: AMC screenshot -
THE CONNERS
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “When you were little, it was so cute when you fought. Now it’s just two bitter, old spinsters going at it.”
Dan (John Goodman) puts Darlene and Becky’s petty argument into perspective
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THE CONNERS (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “If the dress is supposed to look like that on all the bridesmaids, then I better hit puberty real damn soon!”
Darlene (Sara Gilbert) is worried about how she’ll look standing beside daughter Harris
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GHOSTS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Do you even know what sound you’re listening for?”
“I’m not sure, but it makes me feel like Joanna Gaines, and I’m not mad at that. Wanna come be my Chip, big boy?”
“Um, yes please. Wait a minute, why do we only role-play couples from HGTV?”
“Please don’t kink-shame me.”
Sam’s (Rose McIver) attempt to figure out if a wall is load-bearing leads to sexy talk with her husband Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar)
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NEW AMSTERDAM
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “The man snores. I’m on, like, zero sleep right now. It’s not just the snoring. He’s messy. He’s really messy. Like, Luna is the clean one. And he’s disorganized. His place is cramped. My closet is bigger than his entire apartment.”
“But to be fair, your closet, it’s amazing.”
“And to top it all off, he was out of toilet paper. I mean, is this my life now? My God.”
Helen (Freema Agyeman) describes her “eye-opening” first full night at Max’s place to Lauren (Janet Montgomery) — and in the end, none of that stuff is a dealbreaker
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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
Image Credit: Bravo screenshot “Your personality is so distracting, I never noticed your breasts.”
Ever the charmer, Seth Marks tells Heather Gay what every woman wants to hear from her friend’s husband
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BLUE BLOODS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “I was at my doctor, having a consultation about my upcoming colonoscopy. Should I tell him not to bother, now that you’re doing the procedure?”
Anthony (Steve Schirripa) returns to the office to find a suspicious Erin all up in his… business
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ANIMAL KINGDOM
Image Credit: TNT screenshot “If I knew it was gonna go down like this, I would’ve given out breath mints.”
Pete (Reynaldo Gallegos) realizes too late that Pope is a close talker
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WHAT IF...?
Image Credit: Disney+ screenshot (2) “Any plans for this Saturday night…? You know, Bernard in accounting was asking about you…”
“Nothing good has ever followed the phrase ‘Bernard in accounting.'”
As she in another timeline once tried to do with Steve, Natasha (voiced by Lake Bell) tries to play matchmaker for Peggy (Hayley Atwell)
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A MILLION LITTLE THINGS
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “It says ‘No mattresses, no TVs.’ It doesn’t say anything about donating children.”
Gary (James Roday Rodriguez) addresses a suspicious stranger who’s wondering why Darcy’s son is dumpster-diving at a charity drop-off site
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SURVIVOR
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “I was hoping it was the salt water that was making my clothes baggy, but the fact is I’m just turning into a little bit of a twig, and just kind of a fuzzy top. I feel like a broccoli, so… broccoli is a… grows little bunches on, uh, small trees. So, I feel like a little broccoli tree, I guess.”
Brad Reese completely massacres the already-absurd line that his newfound advantage forced him to recite before this week’s immunity challenge
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BILLIONS
Image Credit: Showtime screenshot “If we can’t finish it, we can’t start it.”
Axe (Damian Lewis), depriving Wendy — and fans of the drama — of a long overdue kiss
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BILLIONS (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: Showtime screenshot “Didn’t figure he’d leave you behind, huh? After all that effort, all that history, to just ghost ya like that? Guess you bet on a bad pony, Wen. Sorry for your loss.”
A petty Chuck (Paul Giamatti) gloats when Wendy doesn’t get to be with her new boo, Axe. (But for the record, Chuck, she knew.)
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CALL THE MIDWIFE
Image Credit: PBS screenshot “You approach me as a physician of the soul. But I have no panacea to offer.”
A despondent Sister Monica Joan (Judy Parfitt), after Nurse Phyllis asks if she can console Sister Frances following the death of Baby Christopher
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THE VOICE
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “Kelly’s big connection to you, I guess, is you’re both from Texas. That’s the reason to choose her — even though she abandoned her home state years ago… ”
“What?!?”
“… and never returned again.”
“I have family in Texas!”
“That’s even sadder, isn’t it?”
Blake Shelton, trying to sever Kelly Clarkson’s Texas tie to a potential recruit
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YOUNG SHELDON
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “What’s a hobbit?”
“It’s a race of short humanoids who live in burrows and have hairy feet.”
“Oh! I’ve been called that, but I never knew what it was!”
Dr. Sturgis (Wallace Shawn) is more familiar with the work of J. R. R. Tolkien than he thought
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THE BIG LEAP
Image Credit: Fox screenshot “Justin’s fine, it’s the rest of them that I’m worried about. You know, Sneezy, Dopey, Dummy, Prostitute and Terrible.”
Dealing with a disjointed dancing troupe is no fairy tale for Monica (Mallory Jansen)
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THE GOOD DOCTOR
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “It counts your steps, your pulse ox, monitors when you sleep, warns you when you’re stressed and stores up to a thousand playlists. If it vibrated, I’d marry it.”
Jordan (Bria Samoné Henderson) is perhaps too obsessed with the personal fitness tracker gifted by Ethicure Medical
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TED LASSO
Image Credit: Apple TV+ screenshot (2) “She’s a sneaky, salty bitch.”
“Like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place, right?”
Rebecca’s (Hannah Waddingham) reaction to a so-bad-they’re-good batch of biscuits doubles as a perfect descriptor for Amanda Woodward
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TED LASSO (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: Apple TV+ screenshot “F—k you, Piers Morgan!”
Keeley (Juno Temple), speaking on behalf of, well… everyone
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CHICAGO FIRE
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “Severide’s a lot funnier than I remember.”
“[Smiles] All right. If you say so.”
Griffin (Cameron Scott Roberts) and Casey (Jesse Spencer) do not agree about Severide’s sense of humor
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THE MORNING SHOW
Image Credit: Apple TV+ screenshot “I mean, another streaming service? They should be illegal.”
“I guess you could just not subscribe.”
Laura (Julianna Margulies) and Bradley’s (Reese Witherspoon) discussion of UBA+ is just the right amount of meta
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NCIS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “…Make sure he stays hydrated. Don’t let him in the sun too much….”
“Geez, Palmer, we’re not taking him to summer camp.”
Jimmy (Brian Dietzen) readies Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and Alden to transport a hospitalized POI
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THE ROOKIE
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “The spa here is amazing, you really should try it.”
“So while we get a massage, you what, steal a Monet?”
“A Monet? What am I, a teenage girl from the ’80s decorating my room?”
Nolan (Nathan Fillion) underestimates Tricia Helfer’s elite thief
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ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING
Image Credit: Hulu screenshot (2) “Brazzos was our safe word.”
“And what’s the safe word for me to get out of this conversation?”
Jan (Amy Ryan) overshares about her and Charles’ … celebration of one another’s bodies
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LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION (Episode 9)
Image Credit: IMDb TV screenshots “Why don’t you guys hang out with me a little longer? We could watch some TNG?”
“What’s TNG?”
Could it be that Robert (played by Levar Burton) has never seeeeeeeen Parker’s favorite Star Trek series?
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BIG SKY
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “We need to be honest with each other. You look like a pedo, or a serial killer. This John Wayne Gacy fall/winter collection? That ain’t it.”
Ren (Janina Gavankar) gives Donno some unsolicited fashion advice
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THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “As-salamu alaykum.”
“Wa alaykumu s-salam.”
“Mayim Bialik to you!”
Dave (Max Greenfield) tries — and fails — to repeat after Calvin and Tina
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THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: CBS screenshot (2) “Trust me, that girl is as white as the cast of Friends.”
Tina (Tichina Arnold) sees right through Alexis’ Rachel Dolezal act
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ON MY BLOCK (Episode 10)
Image Credit: Netflix screenshot “I’m not a weirdo. I’m a Gemini.”
Chivo (Emilio Rivera) to Jamal, after hiding in the bushes and definitely being weird. (Who else is going to miss this show?)
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Ouch… Parker’s favorite Star Trek is kind of a slap in the face to Sophie’s friend Tara Cole–played as a series regular in season 2 of the original Leverage by Jeri Ryan.
Personal favourite this week was from What We Do In The Shadows.
Colin Robinson asks Laszlo why the siren wouldn’t choose him first: “You don’t go to a hog roast for the coleslaw.”
So I don’t watch Young Sheldon, but somebody please tell me that he’s ever mentioned Star Trek’s Ferengi to Wallace Shawn.
I don’t watch it either, but…I checked out the timelines. Young Sheldon is circa 1990-91~ currently. DS9 was broadcast after 1993-94, methinks? Maybe they will refer to it in the later seasons
Regarding the Young Sheldon quote, even though I don’t watch that show, I laughed because in an episode of Sex and the City, Candace Bergen’s character actually called Wallace Shawn’s character “a Hobbit” (behind his back)!
GHOSTS! Hilarious, I sure hope this show gains traction.