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Guide to Making Friends as an Adult, According to Hades, Greek God of the Underworld

McSweeney's
 23 days ago

Cover picture for the articleMaking friends as an adult can be challenging. Especially if, like me, you’re the celestial ruler of Tartarus, the abode of the damned. I spent so much time in my late centennials and early chiliads focused solely on my career—working my way steadily down the ladder into the frigid ninth circle of Hell—that I never left myself time to develop meaningful relationships. After burning my way through a myriad of self-help books (I don’t think there’s a resident of the Underworld who hasn’t read How to Win Friends and Influence People), I decided to embark upon my own hero’s journey to discover lasting adult friendships. The insights I gained along the way should be helpful, whether you’re an adult looking to make friends or an immortal deity charged with ruling the domain of the damned. And contrary to the inscription on the gates of Hell, do not abandon any hope yet! There are still friends to be made, if you heed my advice.

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