How therapists are helping their own children navigate an uncertain school year

As we dive into a school year filled with unknowns, the uncertainty adds a new layer of stress for parents and children alike. Many parents find themselves worrying about how this pandemic and the ensuing disruption to routines and schedules will impact children in the long run.

I myself have seen a shift in my 4-year-old’s overall behavior and have worried about her social and emotional development. I decided to ask a few psychologists and counselors how they are helping their own children navigate the uncertainties of this school year.

Wearing masks can be challenging for kids. Heck, it’s challenging for adults too.

A child’s response to wearing masks will vary based on age, temperament, and what the family’s own personal practices have been. However, there are a number of ways parents can help their children feel more comfortable with the mask requirement while at school.

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Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, a Licensed Professional Counselor, author of “Mommy Burnout” and mom of three (ages 8, 11 and 13), shares that one of the things she is doing to support her kids is wearing a mask herself when they head to the store. Even though she is fully vaccinated, Dr. Ziegler wears her mask to show her children, especially the two under age 12, that they are all in this together as a family.

"The subject occasionally comes up about it not being fun to wear a mask all the time and I tell them, 'I hear you and it definitely isn't fun to wear a mask all day'" Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and mother of two Renee Avis said. "I do not get into anything about the politics of wearing masks. These conversations typically last less than five minutes and then they say they are happy to be back in school and we are off to the next topic."

More often than not, kids just need to feel that they are being heard in these moments and then they are ready to move on.

Kids thrive on routine. In a school year filled with uncertainty, the most important thing parents can do is prepare their children for the possibility of disruption to the usual schedule, while also taking the pressure off of them to worry about how to handle these situations.

Avis shared the importance of not discussing with her kids how hard this school year could be. She instead chooses to focus on what they are excited about for the new school year.

"I have talked with my daughters about the possibility of COVID-19 cases showing up in their schools. COVID isn't going away anytime soon and cases are going to show up. I’ve told them that their schools would handle these situations when they arise and unless we are told we need to do something they will continue to go to school as they have been," Avis said. "If there is a time where they have to stay home due to a COVID situation it will likely be for a short period of time and we will work through that if and when we need to."

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The busing situation in Wake County has had its own unique set of challenges for parents and students to navigate.

On this issue, Avis said she told her oldest daughter about the bus driver shortage, letting her know that her bus pickup times would likely be off for a while. “I let her know we would manage the bus situation on a day to day basis. This doesn't allow any worry or anxiety to happen within her about getting to and from school each day.”

Children need as much normalcy as possible, while simultaneously being made aware of the situation in age-appropriate ways and letting them know their parents and teachers are there to help them navigate any changes.

The biggest thing each of our therapists said they are doing to help their children navigate this school year? Providing emotional support.

“I am reminding them daily how we are all interconnected and that the choices we make don't just affect us but also our friends, classmates and community. We express what we are grateful for or something that we recognize in others that made us feel good each day," Dr. Ziegler said.

Nicole Wallace, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and mom of five said.

"I'm helping my children navigate this challenging back to school season by making myself be present when I am with my children," Nicole Wallace, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and mom of five said. "This has looked like scaling back on clients for their first week back to school so I can be home sooner, doing emotional check-ins during dinner conversation, and giving lots of hugs. We all thrive on feeling connected to others. When tough times come, making yourself available and giving affection can be the key to connectedness with children."

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It can be challenging to be fully present with our kids in the best of times. Add in the stress and uncertainty of the ongoing pandemic and it can be near impossible to shut off all the areas of your brain that are firing when home with your child. But, in the end, as our therapists have all agreed, this is what we need to do as parents to support our children and help them navigate this school year.