Directing energy in a positive way brings positive change

The late Duke Ellington — composer, pianist, and leader of a jazz orchestra said, “I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.”

As I go through rehab, I am not pouting, but I do have moments when I feel a little sorry for myself. However, when I notice it I think of Ellington and I remind myself it is a waste of energy.

How about you? What is it that zaps your energy? A clue to misusing energy is when you find yourself repeating the same complaint over and over, or your mind keeps mulling over what else you wish you had done.

Or it is when you hear yourself angrily denying there is a problem. Of course, that usually means there is a problem and rather than misusing your energy, you need to get some help dealing with it. That may mean letting go and accepting you can’t change the past. Other times it means making some changes.

Physical signs to misusing energy are feeling anxious, tight muscles, gastro intestinal problems, headaches, being critical of people, or finding yourself scheming how to manipulate someone else to get something done.

What can help is talking with a support group or a wise person who can help you see that letting go isn’t going to happen until you take some action and make some changes. The pain and the hurt will only continue if nothing is done.

A change like Ellington made is to find somewhere else to put your time and energy — write poetry, volunteer for a non-profit, learn a new skill.

That begins with the awareness when you are pouting or obsessing about something unresolved, you are using up your energy in a way that keeps you from being present to the good things happening in this moment, in this day, or to the possibilities that lie ahead.

Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Contact her at clankard@cox.net.