New parents often get bombarded with parental advice, opinions and insight, whether it is wanted or not. Sometimes, that meddling can go too far.
One father's post on the popular subreddit Am I the A****** went viral after he asked if he was wrong for not allowing his parents into his son's life. He claimed they secretly tested his son's DNA.
The Redditor, PaperBackWriter00, wrote in his post, which has more than 23,000 votes, that his parents immediately disapproved of his relationship with his wife, whom he refers to as "Sonya," upon meeting her.
"My parents think that Sonya is only using me to achieve her American dream," he wrote. "I told them that is racist and I am very offended by their assumption."
The disapproval went to the point of the couple eloping because his parents refused to give their blessing. After two years of marriage, the two welcomed their first child and the Redditor's parents started reaching out to them.
"My kindhearted wife didn't think twice to welcome my parents into our lives," he wrote. "She let them meet our baby two days after being discharged from the hospital."
During one of their regular visits, PaperBackWriter00 said his mother was playing with his son and said something similar to, "Aren't you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson."
When asked what she meant, his mother apologized before revealing that his son's DNA was tested. PaperBackWriter00 wrote that he was "speechless" and asked his parents to leave.
"My mom was very apologetic and said it's because they don't trust my wife and that our son looks nothing like me," he wrote.
PaperBackWriter00 told his wife about the DNA test when she asked why his parents weren't visiting. The couple agreed they no longer would allow his parents into their son's life.
When his mother called and asked when she and his father can visit again, PaperBackWriter00 told her and his father that they no longer are welcome in their son's life. An argument ensued and the Redditor hung up.
More than 2,000 commenters weighed in to voice their support of PaperBackWriter00's decision.
"NTA and to all of you saying that you should not deprive your child of a relationship with his grandparents: They are openly racist towards his wife/the mother of this child. They will make remarks about that, they will make him feel bad about this heritage and will talk badly about his mother even when he is there. Don't let them into your life," one commenter wrote.
Another wrote that he did the right thing by standing up for his wife and child.
"They need your protection from your horrible parents—and good on you for putting them first," the comment read.
"The grandparents overstepped a huge boundary," one commenter wrote. "I would not trust them with my children ever."
One Redditor wrote, "If the grandparents have racist tendencies in the first place, I can't imagine the sly remarks they may eventually start to make towards their own grandchild."
CNN previously reported on the experiences of multiracial Americans, particularly experiences with family members. The story said that racial prejudice between family members can happen in some households.
One woman told CNN that her mother was even disowned.
"Racism lets you know right away that you are not White," she told the outlet. "My Blackness stood out and was rare where I grew up, so it has always been a big part of my identity."
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Catherine Ferris is a Newsweek reporter based in New York. Her focus is reporting for the U.S. Trends Team. She ... Read more
To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, Click here.
