Paulina Porizkova broke down in tears on Instagram on the second anniversary of her husband Ric Ocasek’s death.
“The crying lady of Instagram,” she wrote alongside a one-minute video of herself sobbing in bed on Thursday. “This has been a really really hard week for me. (My husbands death day, becoming an empty nester and finding out I’m not as loveable as I thought I was).”
The model, 56, said she couldn’t “pretend” she wasn’t experiencing a painful influx of “grief, heartbreak and the utter sense of being alone” as she looked back on her decades-long relationship with Ocasek.
The Cars frontman died of natural causes at age 75 on Sept. 15, 2019, at his New York City home. One year prior, Porizkova and Ocasek filed for divorce but had not separated and were still living together.
As previously reported, Ocasek secretly cut her out of his will before his unexpected death, which forced Porizkova to rely on friends to pay for groceries and to sell the couple’s Gramercy Park abode.
In her Thursday post, Porizkova preemptively clapped back at haters who might criticize her for documenting her breakdown on social media.
“All of you who wonder why and how the hell I manage to do a video of myself when I’m so hurt- it’s a good question,” she wrote. “The action of setting a camera and turning it on breaks the moment of the emotional wave, so one has to wait for it to come back.”
“The morning I shot this, I was so raw I spent the whole day crying, so setting a camera wasn’t an issue. I couldn’t have NOT cried.”
Although the Czech-born beauty is unsure if her Instagram post is “an act of stupidity or courage,” she acknowledged that it has provided a sense of relief after years of maintaining a stoic disposition.
“As all my loved ones can attest, I was the woman who never cried. Never. Only secretly, in shadows. Showing myself this vulnerable is probably like you showing US a naked unflattering photo of yourself,” she continued. “This is me at my most vulnerable. My most naked.”
Porizkova concluded her post by saying she has “hit the bottom” but is “ready to emerge” as a new woman: “Next week, expect to see me with three baby dragons. 😉😂”
The former Sports Illustrated stunner cried on Instagram back in August and claimed she was “blindsided” by someone’s “betrayal.” Although no names were mentioned, she split from Aaron Sorkin earlier this year after three months of dating publicly.