‘RHOBH’: Erika Jayne’s Latest Tall Tale Includes A Burglar, A Rolled Car and…Glaucoma?

“Wait, what?” It’s the question Kyle Richards asked and it’s the question we’re all asking after the latest story from Erika Jayne on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It is a Stefon bit on SNL? It might be, because this one has everything: a burglary, glaucoma, rolling cars. Except this is not the hottest club in town. In fact, this one is getting kinda old.

On the latest episode of the Bravo series, Erika showed up to Kathy Hilton’s pamper party in a comfy blue sweatsuit and a full face of makeup, despite the fact that the planned activity for the afternoon was…facials. And while Kathy and Lisa Rinna took advantage of the offerings (and it was the gold kind of masks so you know it’s the good stuff), Erika and Kyle took to the couch to catch up. It should be noted that Erika seemed to be in relatively good, chipper spirits at first, which only makes what happened next that much more confusing.

After confirming that when it comes to her friendship with Sutton Stracke, “The door is closed,” (and she repeated it three times so that door is locked and deadbolted too), she casually and quietly drops the world’s most bizarre run-on sentence on Kyle. “Tom’s house was broken into and he confronted the burglar and then had to go have eye surgery and then my son had to go over and help, and then my son, he rolled his car five times on the way home, yeah, I’m under a lot of stress.”

After Kyle rightfully instructs her to “Wait, hold on, back up,” Erika reveals that this all went down “Just a couple days ago, Satur…day?” She also confirms that she knew this all happened when the group was gathered at Garcelle’s house but that, “Yeah, I just didn’t say that.”

Kyle speaks the truth in her interview, saying, “There seems to be a pattern. We’ll spend time with Erika, and then find out later there was this big situation in her life going on that she didn’t share with us. When Erika withholds information, she just makes it hard to be able to support her.”

Erika goes on to explain, “I got a call at three in the morning but I didn’t get it until six, from Pasadena Police Department, that Tom’s home had been broken into. He confronted the burglar and then he had to go to the hospital and then have some sort of surgery, I don’t really even know,” she trails off. And the reason for that surgery? “He has glaucoma and I think pressure and the anxiety and whatever. I’m not sure, I haven’t spoken…” she says. Again: wait, what?

But she only continues to say, “Well then my son went [to his house] because I can’t go, and then on his way home, it was snowing and he rolled his car.”

Kyle continues to assist the Pasadena Police Department in her interview, asking the series of questions: “So if Tom was burglarized, how’d you find out? Tom confronted the burglars? Did they do anything to him? And what about your son? Was he hurt? His car flipped, he’s ok? This story obviously sounds unbelievable. That’s the only word I can think of, it sounds unbelievable. Does that mean I don’t believe her? No…but it’s unbelievable.”

She also asks Erika, “It was snowing in Pasadena?” but Erika only responds with, “He lives further out.” She confirms that “Yeah, he’s fine,” and as for Tom, “I know he made it out of surgery ok. I don’t know what happened after that.” Well, neither do we, really.

Kyle of course shares this information later with Dorit and their husbands, Mauricio and PK, respectively. And after Dorit has whipped up a tartar sauce for PK’s salmon dinner, she recounts the story Erika shared with the group in La Quinta about Tom’s car accident that also tested the limits of the group’s botox injections. And speaking of: Mauricio looks awfully surprised throughout the whole thing. Did Kyle not mention this to him? Was it while he was smoking what has to be some incredible weed and it slipped his mind? Lmk.

However, Dorit also makes it a point to mention that after that accident, Erika didn’t allow the doctors to do surgery on Tom’s brain because of his age. Once Dorit and PK (nearly) figure out word for statistician, he asks the table, “What are the statistics that Tom and his stepson both flip cars? I would guess they’re millions and millions and millions to one. Statistically, it’s basically impossible.” He goes on to say, “I’m suggesting, she’s been in a controlling marriage and she’s still being controlled. I think that Tom lied to her and Erika went along with it. There’s no car rolling, there’s no 12 hours unconscious.” Sigh. We have no choice but to agree.

Dorit, who was recently questioning everything Erika was saying, seems to have a change of heart, telling them, “The story is bonkers, there are details missing, but I don’t believe for one second that Erika is lying.” In her interview she even asks, “Why would she make that up? Obviously, you have to believe it. It’s crazy but I have no reason not to believe her.”

PK, who has never been a fan of Erika, is even more turned off by her recent Instagram posts, but slips into manager mode as he says, “I would love her to have the comeback of comebacks, but not if she can’t break loose of the shackles of the world shes been in. And that guy is no longer a credible guy.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesday at 8 pm ET/PT on Bravo. 

Stream The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Bravo Now