Steve Buscemi's Struggles as Volunteer Firefighter Come to Light Ahead of 9/11 Anniversary

09/10/2021 11:01 pm EDT

Long before Steve Buscemi gave unforgettable performances on television and in movies, the character actor was a New York City firefighter in the early 1980s. The Boardwalk Empire star snapped back into action after the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks by volunteering at Ground Zero to help find survivors in the rubble. In the latest episode of Marc Maron's WTF podcast, Buscemi opened up about suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder after his volunteer work.

"I was depressed, I was anxious, I couldn't make a simple decision," Buscemi told the comedian ahead of the 20th anniversary of the attacks. Buscemi said he called his former station to offer his help, but no one answered because all firefighters were at Ground Zero. "I eventually learned that five of them were missing. One of them was a good friend of mine I used to work with," the Fargo actor explained.

Buscemi went down to the site himself and found members of Engine 55, the same company he worked with in the early 1980s. They were a "little suspicious" about him being there at first, but they allowed him to work with them. He continued volunteering at Ground Zero for the next five days. His work at Ground Zero was featured in the 2014 HBO documentary A Good Job: Stories of the FDNY, which Buscemi narrated. He is also an executive producer on Dust: The Lingering Legacy of 9/11, a film about the health problems firefighters still face after working at Ground Zero.

"When I stopped going and tried to just live my life again, it was really, really hard," Buscemi told Maron, notes TooFab. "I haven't experienced any health issues, and I get myself checked out - but definitely, yeah, post-traumatic stress? Absolutely." The experience is still with Buscemi 20 years later. "There are times when I talk about 9/11 and I'm right back there. I start to get choked up and I realize, 'Ah, this is still a big part of me,'" Buscemi said.

Buscemi also wrote about his experiences in a new Time Magazine essay this week, noting how the terrorist attacks have lingering effects on firefighters at Ground Zero. "It actually felt good to be there. I was on the site for less than a week, but it wasn't until I got home that the magnitude of it all caught up with me," the actor explained. "I was already seeing a therapist, and though it was almost impossible to process the enormity of what had happened, just having someone with whom to sit with all the feelings was a consolation. It's not something first responders usually get. Announcing vulnerability is a hard thing for anyone, but especially for people whose primary identity is as a protector." He went on to note that some can "never forget" about the 9/11 attacks, adding that, "What is surprising is who has to be reminded."

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