'Keep living': Amanda Kloots reflects on life, future after losing husband to COVID-19

Whenever Amanda Kloots feels sad or angry about losing her husband, Broadway actor Nick Cordero, to COVID-19, she thinks about what he would say to her.

"I do believe that the best way to honor somebody's life that has lost his life is to live your life — keep living. I know that's would Nick would want me to do. I know he would have told me: 'Amanda, you go. You succeed. You work. Be an amazing mother for Elvis. Love again,' " she said Wednesday night in a livestream event with the Hudson Library & Historical Society.

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'Live Your Life: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero'

The Canton native, a former Broadway dancer and Radio City Rockette, spoke for nearly 50 minutes about Cordero's very public, 95-day battle with COVID-19. Her family's struggle is the subject of her book "Live Your Life: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero," which she co-wrote with sister Anna Kloots.

Amanda Kloots will also appear in the upcoming season of "Dancing With The Stars."

Cordero, a Tony nominee and Broadway star, died July 5, 2020, in Los Angeles at age 41. The couple's son, Elvis, was 1 at the time.

Kloots, 39, began writing her memoir about him two weeks after Cordero's death. Her book, released by HarperCollins June 15, chronicles their love story from when they met in the Broadway production of "Bullets Over Broadway."

On Wednesday, Kloots spoke on Zoom with Hudson library archivist Gwen Mayer and also answered questions from viewers. (See Kloots' talk on the Hudson Library & Historical Society's YouTube channel through Oct. 8.)

When asked about what the biggest shock was about writing her first book, she said it was becoming a New York Times best-selling author, something she never expected. Her memoir reached the No. 2 spot for nonfiction on the New York Times list July 4.

When HarperCollins reached out to her to tell her full story needed to be shared, Kloots realized, "I needed to write it down. I needed to document what happened."

"It forced me to get it out. It was very therapeutic, very cathartic to just write it down, cry as hard as I did while I was writing it," she said.

Instagram therapy

Kloots, who shared her husband's medical struggles daily on Instagram as it was happening last year, garnered a huge army of followers across the world who supported her through her crisis. During Cordero's 95-day struggle, she went from 50,000 Instagram followers to more than 600,000.

Kloots made her Broadway debut in "Good Vibrations" at age 22. She had the part of the "Bikini Girl," representing the quintessential California girl in the story.

Fifteen years later, after leaving the stage and becoming a fitness instructor and mother, Kloots captured the hearts of the world with that same radiance, positivity and grace as she candidly shared Cordero's story. She and her Instagram community rallied for Cordero at 3 p.m. daily, singing and dancing to his song "Live Your Life."

Cordero only sang the song live once, in his cabaret performance at Live at Feinstein’s/54 Below in New York in 2019. Ironically, Kloots said Wednesday, the song's lyrics are actually about a breakup.

"They love each other, but something's not fitting" and each has to live his or her own life to figure it out, Kloots said of the couple in the song. 

On Sept. 2, Kloots returned to Broadway for reopening night of the musical "Waitress," in which Cordero starred as an original company member. Composer Sara Bareilles, starring again as Jenna, brought Kloots on stage during the curtain call to honor Cordero.

Kloots spoke and then sang Cordero's "Live Your Life" with the cast, with the audience standing up and singing along. Bareilles revealed that the cast had "baked him into the show" by naming one of the pies "Live Your Life" on the menu board of the musical's restaurant set. 

"It [the pie name] was up on the set and it will be forever set in the script," for every production around the world, Kloots said Wednesday night. That includes the run of "Waitress" that will play at E.J. Thomas Hall in Akron Oct. 8 and 9.

To check out the "Waitress" cast's celebration of Cordero, see https://youtu.be/arxgfCyWt4k/ from the 2-minute mark.

An army of helpers

Kloots had an army of helpers during Nick's hospitalization, with her brother Todd and sister Anna moving in with her and Elvis for much of the struggle. Her support system included everyone from friends and family back in Ohio to Elvis' "stroller brigade" for walks, made up of Cordero's fellow cast members from the Los Angeles production of "Rock of Ages." Through it all, Kloots was not afraid to ask for more support.

"I truly believe in asking for help when you need it," she said.

On Wednesday, she revealed that she does not like the word "widow," which stems from a Latin word meaning "be empty." The opposite is true for Kloots.

"Literally, all I'm trying to do every day is be fulfilled," she said. 

Instead, she prefers the word renovar, the Spanish verb for "to renew."

"I believe that's what a widow or widower is doing," she said.

Kloots says she feels Cordero's presence often, especially through songs on the car radio. In her book, she shares an anecdote about baby Elvis lying in bed awake in the middle of the night next to her, staring at the ceiling and cooing contentedly in an unexpected manner. Cordero used to lie staring at the ceiling for hours thinking creative thoughts, Kloots said, a state she called his Fantasyland. As Elvis did what looked like the same thing, she felt as if Cordero was there with him.

'The Talk' and joining 'Dancing With the Stars'

Life after losing Cordero has been busy for Kloots, who lives in the Laurel Canyon area of Los Angeles with her son. The single mom, a self-professed go-go-go person who enjoys working hard, joined  "The Talk" on CBS as a co-host in January.

"I feel like I won the lottery. It is the perfect job for a mother," said Kloots, whose home is "right around the corner" from the studio. She not only can drop Elvis off and pick him up from preschool each day but also can enjoy the adult conversation and fun celebrities that come with being on the show.

Kloots has another new job: On Wednesday, she was announced as a cast member in "Dancing With the Stars," whose premiere will be Sept. 20 on ABC. In returning to dancing after seven years, Kloots said she is honoring her late husband.

"Dancing makes me so happy and I'm already having a blast" after just the first week of rehearsals, Kloots said.

She said she has leaned heavily on her faith, continually thanking God for her blessings, to help get through the trauma of losing Cordero.

"I'm a huge believe in faith, that God's watching me and taking care of me and Elvis," she said.

Throughout her talk, Kloots gave several pieces of firm advice, including about COVID-19, which took the life of her previously healthy husband.

"You get the vaccine. You save your life. You help other people save lives. You move this country forward," she urged.

As a fitness instructor, she also encouraged others to move their bodies as part of being healthy.

"Working out is not a chore. It's a privilege" that not everybody is able to take part in, said Kloots, citing how her husband's right leg was amputated due to COVID complications.

Finally, she urged everyone to be good to each other because you never know what someone else may be going through.

"I would just say to be gentle and be cautious with people," she said. "Be kind. Don't judge people."

Arts writer Kerry Clawson may be reached at 330-996-3527 or kclawson@thebeaconjournal.com.