The Cincinnati Reds just did whatever the hell that was

Vlad Gutierrez served up meatballs, the bullpen dropped Mentos into 2-liter bottles of Coca Cola and pointed them at their faces, and the Cincinnati Reds were thrashed at home against the Detroit Tigers in the series opener in GABP on Friday night.

I said at home and in GABP in the same sentence on purpose. My lord, it’s frustrating to see this club get shellacked in their own park so dang often anymore.

Anyhoo, Max Schrock pitched a bit, so there’s that.

Joey Votto doubled, so there’s that, too.

Eugenio Suarez even bashed a homer for the second consecutive game, giving hope to the idea that he’s at least coming around to bashing LHP in semi-important games down the stretch this year, something that would behoove all Reds to do, in all honesty.

Matthew Boyd will toe the rubber for the formidable Tigers against the Reds when these two clubs tussle on Saturday at 7:10 PM ET, with Tyler Mahle - he of the horrendous home splits - on the bump for the Reds. Boyd’s a lefty, too, so we’ve all got that to look forward to.

Did I mention the score? It was 15-5.