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My Husband Has Been Financially Abusive for Years. Now the Tables Are Turning.


Cover picture for the articlePay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Athena and Elizabeth here. (It’s anonymous!) My husband and I have been married for 11 years, together for 14. Since having our three kids (the oldest is going to be 8), I have been a stay-at-home mom. My husband has always been financially abusive. We used to have a shared account, but he would only put money in it if I asked. He would put in the exact amount, and it could only be for certain things like groceries and sometimes clothing for the children.

Comments / 41

Ricky Mellott Sr

I wouldn't give him anything. make him suffer like he did you. do to him what he did to you...... he earned it

Kay Johnson

If your husband hasn't changed his selfish ways after all those years, he never will. I'm thinking you are still resentful of his stingy ways because he has never allowed an open honest communication regarding this subject, or showed any real remorse. Heartbreaking as it may seem, the best option for you and the kids is to dump your baggage and move on. By staying in this relationship, you are teaching your children that its OK to live with resentment and to waste years justifying a doomed relationship.

Mara Nasland Childers

He may have pulled the divorce papers only due to his financial problems. I would never have a shared account with him again, nor would I give him any money. Share food with him if you want. He can get his own clothing cheap at Goodwill.


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