'i miss my rock'

Sister Wives’ Meri Brown suffering through ‘hell’ & ‘unimaginable pain’ after mom’s death & ‘split’ from husband Kody

SISTER Wives' Meri Brown is suffering through "hell" and "unimaginable pain" after her mom Bonnie's death and "split" from husband Kody.

Her mother's death caught the reality TV star by surprise.

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Meri Brown recently buried her mom, BonnieCredit: Instagram
The reality star attended her mother's funeral with loved onesCredit: Jill Ishkanian/The US Sun
Meri has also been dealing with her 'split' from husband Kody BrownCredit: TLC

In a painfully sad post, Meri gave fans a glimpse into what she is currently going through as she shared the funeral program from her mother's memorial.

Her post began: "One week ago, just seven days, since I got the heartbreaking call. Seven days of hell, of unimaginable pain, of chaos and confusion. Seven days of more tears than I thought were in me. Seven days of wondering, what do I do now?

"She always told me, when I get the call, I will go, it will be immediate and without warning. She didn't lie.

"There was so much left undone. So many things she knew that I don't. So many questions unanswered.

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She talked about a pain like no other in an Instagram postCredit: Jill Ishkanian/The US Sun

"I don't know how to do this, how to move through the immense grief. This was NOT in my plan, she was supposed to be here so much longer.

"I can only hope that since God had a plan for her, he has one for me as well. Because I feel so lost. They say the pain doesn't last forever, that God provides strength to carry the pain and endure the grief. I'm still waiting for that. Because right now I don't feel strong. And I usually am."

The TLC star added: "She was a light, a safe place, to all who knew her, and even to those who didn't. Her life was truly centered on Christ, more than any person I've ever known. She was a giver, her home always a refuge, her arms always ready to give a hug.

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"I miss my mom. I miss my rock."

Kody was also there though they kept their distanceCredit: Jill Ishkanian/The US Sun

Meri's raw post about her mom comes just one day after The Sun spotted the Sister Wives family gathering for Bonnie's funeral.

The family arrived at the service on Wednesday as Meri, 50, was seen in a bright yellow dress as the rest of the guests wore all black or darker tones. 

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She attended the viewing of the body that took place in the morning and according to the insider, left the building to walk out to her car before the official service began. 

Meri was seen applying “a lot” of hairspray as she fixed her makeup at her car. 

She was also accompanied by her Sister Wives' children and her own daughterCredit: Jill Ishkanian/The US Sun

Although she has longtime martial problems with Kody, 52, the reality star was still wearing her wedding ring.

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The eyewitness insisted that while the energy of the event was understandably “very solemn,” Kody was seen appearing “energetic” and “chatty” with fellow gatherers. 

“He wasn’t reading the room,” it was said of the sad day.

Meri and Kody have been married for almost 30 yearsCredit: Instagram

Despite Meri mourning the death of her mother, Kody’s attention appeared to be mainly on his wife, Janelle

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At one point during the event, Janelle, 51, is seen grabbing Kody’s arm to pull him into her. 

As he kept his hands in his pocket, the two shared a kiss in the parking lot of the chapel. 

The source who was present noted that Kody and Meri had “hardly” any interaction and seemed distant.  

Meri's mom seemed to like KodyCredit: Refer to Caption
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Though the couple - who have been married since 1990 - have had “heated issues” recently, Meri vowed she will "not the one who is going to give up" on her marriage to Kody.

She previously said they are "in a place where we're just figuring out where we are and, you know, what is happening" as divorce speculation runs rampant.

Meri and Kody’s daughter, Mariah Brown and her fiancée, Audrey, appeared to have chopped off their locks as their new hairdo was much shorter. 

According to a bystander, the couple kept the masks on “the entire time.”

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Kody has expressed that he and Meri can't divorce but she can choose to leaveCredit: TLC

Following the funeral service, the group drove together to drop the casket into the ground. 

Though the quiet scene was an overall grim mood, the informant said that Kody continued to talk to those nearby him. 

Last week, Meri confirmed on Instagram that her mom, Bonnie Ahlstrom, died at the age of 76.

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Bonnie made several appearances on the the popular reality show, and also help run Meri's bed and breakfast, Lizzie's Heritage Inn.

Meri was very close to her momCredit: Instagram

As she shared a picture of her Mom, Meri wrote in the emotional caption: "76 years and 17 days was not enough time for the world to feel the beautiful spirit of this beautiful woman.

"This woman whose life mission was to give, to love, to serve. This woman who only knew how to do for others.

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"This woman who would drop everything for you. This woman who was strong, resilient, compassionate.

"This woman who was a safe place to land, no matter where, no matter when. This woman, this beautiful woman, my mom.”

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The Sister Wives star went on to tell her followers how Bonnie had passed away unexpectedly and "way too soon.”

Meri continued: "She left us suddenly, unexpected, and extremely way too soon and I literally don't know how I'm going to do the rest of my life without her.

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"Mom, I love you beyond the words I can express here, but I know you know that.”

Meri was hit with her mother's death unexpectedlyCredit: TLC
Sister Wives star Kody Brown says he 'can't' divorce Meri due to polygamist views but claims she can 'leave at any time'
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