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Chelsea Day

The Digitalized Baby: Is Technology Making Us Bad Parents?

2021-01-24

When I brought my first son home from the hospital, I was a nervous wreck. I'd read all the studies on SIDS, every statistic and safety precaution. There was nothing fluffy in or near his crib, which had adequate spacing between the slats and a perfectly-tilted mattress. And yet, I couldn't unwind. Friends would tell me to “sleep when the baby sleeps” so I could maintain some semblance of sanity. Instead, I'd hover blearily over him, stressing over every up and down movement of his tiny chest. I'd finally drift off only to startle awake with horrific, nightmarish visions in my head.

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So much for sanity. I was going baby-batty, over every potential danger and life-threatening thing lurking in the nursery - but mostly in my mind. Without the funds to hire someone to stay with him 24/7 and watch his breathing like a hawk (believe me, I considered it)… I needed to seek out an alternate solution to put my postpartum mind at ease, help me get some rest, and give my baby a little space to develop apart from my hovering.

How a Tech-Savvy Baby Monitor Made me a Better Parent

Enter the “movement monitor.” A concerned coworker finally suggested this advanced device to measure my son's breathing at night. My husband looked on, bemused, as I slipped a hyper-sensitive sensor pad under the baby's mattress. It was set to sound a remote alarm by our bed if no movement was detected for 20 seconds. It even had an optional alert that could set off a muted beep every time movement WAS detected, so I could be lulled to sleep by the sweet digitalized detection of my baby's movements. Overkill? Maybe. But it was the only thing that put my worried mind at ease enough to finally get some sleep.

That was an absolute game-changer for me, getting me through those early months and ultimately being put to great use with my second son, too. I loved the remote notifications, especially when I was juggling a toddler AND a baby born just eighteen months apart. Then came kiddo number three.

My third son actually developed a gnarly case of a RSV, a severe respiratory virus that appears as a simple cold for adults, but ruthlessly attacks babies’ respiratory systems to the point that it can cause life-long lung damage and even death. After spending two weeks at Children’s Hospital with that nightmare situation, we bumped the digitalization of our baby up a notch with a wearable O2 monitor in the form of a little sock that delivered heart rate, oxygen levels, skin temperature and even rollover issues via an app.

The digitalization of babies has gone into overdrive in recent years, along with the digitalization of basically every aspect of our entire lives. There is high-tech gadgetry available now that syncs up to parents' iPhones and video systems to track the most minute details of children's movement. Parents can check the detailed status of their child from anywhere, and even send to-the-minute notifications to grandparents or print out health information for pediatricians.

There are even video monitors for babies that can track their sleep patterns and deliver insights to help parents prepare themselves for the ideal wake-up times every single evening, helping bleary-eyed young moms and dads optimize their sleep schedule and juggle work hours against the anticipated needs of their babies.

When is it “Too Much” Tech?

With threats of hacking potential for any technology (I’ll spare you the baby monitor hacking stories if you haven’t yet heard them), there is wide-spread concern that we’re – at best – wasting money and – at worst - becoming too reliant on these robotic advances to keep an eye on our kids. Especially in an era of remote school, Zoom, Messenger Kids and Minecraft, lots of experts are asking the important question: when is technology hurting us more than it helps?

High-tech baby monitors have obvious functionality in the world of children who suffer from apnea and other medical conditions, but have the rest of us gone too far? Dr. Kenneth Bromberg, chairman of pediatrics at the Brooklyn Hospital Center, expressed his concern in an interview with The Wall Street Journal. “This is an invitation to craziness. It will make you neurotic and anxious.”

I'll admit that certain technologies like the “Smart Diaper” (which helps parents analyze their children's urine for chemical imbalances and infection) seem a little over-the-top, but at the end of the day I believe that most of this technology is catering to parents who are already prone to anxiety over their child. My monitor put my neurotic mind at ease, it didn't instill that neurosis to begin with!

There are definitely scientifically-backed reasons behind wanting to limit technology around your baby, ranging from a wholesome desire to maximize skin-to-skin time to the nagging concern that electric waves from components could possibly cause harm to your new little human being. With that in mind, there are video systems on the market that promise “low EMF” monitoring as well as tons of apps that can marry science and technology with reminders about your baby’s development.

A Wise Approach to Family-Friendly Technology

To experts who claim that technology like this will cause parents to get lazy and monitor their baby by proxy, I'm going to guess that they've never experienced the frustration of inadvertently waking a sleeping baby while attempting to check on his vital signs every five seconds. Perhaps, wielded wisely, useful insights and good monitoring can be paired with a holistic approach to child-rearing for kids who are not only healthier, but more properly supported with key data notifications for parents about emotional well-being and typical development timelines.

With such a vast array of learning to be done about the world of children and how they can be best supported as they advance into adulthood, perhaps target technology with well-timed delivery is the IDEAL solution for supporting overwhelmed parents. Who could possibly criticize families for wanting to use all the tools at their disposal?

Having the most helpful data at-hand, coupled with in-person observation, minimizes stress to the parent and disturbance to the baby, and I think ultimately helps the parenting community as a whole. Our family will continue to embrace technology – as long as it keeps embracing our needs.

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