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Sean Kernan

24 Additional Security Questions Before Redeeming Your United Miles

2020-11-17

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We here at United Airlines care deeply about your experience.

This is why we were the first airline to team up with Clorox so that we could also be the first airline to stuff our airline to the brim in the middle of a pandemic.

In fact, our care is so deep, that we have deeply taken extra steps to protect your hard-earned points. So please answer these additional security questions before redeeming your United Miles. To complete your redemption, we’ll have you log back in and answer them again after a brief six-month account hold.

For your own security, your United Miles will expire after two failed attempts.

What was your first job before your last?

What is your favorite security question?

What is your 3rd favorite color?

What was the first stuffed animal you kissed?

What is your favorite brand of mid-range dishwashers?

If Paris is 213 miles from London, how many dogs are in Alaska?

How many meters is your victory lap?

When you close your eyes and hit the keyboard with your fist, what letters does that give you?

What is your favorite number between 3.87823 and 3.87829?

An evasive, generic answer to a debate question you don’t like?

When you hear this dog barking, what is he saying?

What’s your favorite city? (Please include a number and a symbol)

What is the first concert your 3rd-grade teacher attended?

What makes you question the existence of god?

Besides your number of romantic partners, what do you multiply by 3?

What is your maiden’s mother's name?

What memory instantly puts you in a bad mood when you think of it?

You have to sacrifice one of your children or lose them all, who do you choose?

You don’t actually want these United Miles, do you?

Isn’t it time for a walk?

How about a free issue of Hemispheres instead? United’s premium editorial magazine?

What’s the best song to listen to while your plane is crashing?

Do you feel bad redeeming points in a time of great suffering in the airline industry?

If you had to choose between not redeeming your miles or redeeming and firing one of our employees, what would you choose?

Thank you for flying with United. We care, deeply.

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